Why guys just end it with no reason

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Why guys just end it with no reason
5
Wed, 05-26-2004 - 8:54pm
OK I was dating this guy who I thought really did like me and we were moving on in our relationship, a little. He told me all the time that he like being with me and he like coming up to my house or even going out with me. He even talked about doing things in the future,for an example he told me he wanted me to go up to his cabin in vermont with him cuz i would love it up there.

Well he wasnt calling as much and when he did he would say he fell asleep or he was working late and sorry he didnt call me.... and I beleive him cuz I asked a mutual friend if he has cheating and he said no way....it was that he was young (hes 20) and he liked to party.well im young too(im 23)and aint lookin to get married just have a relationship where i can see him...but he likes to drink alot with his buddies..cuz he was in a relationship for 2 years with a girl that was controllin and he never got to see his buddies he said. So anyways on night when he was callin as much and i wasnt seein him as much ..i had called him and he started goin(with no pushing from me....he just started talkin) on tellin me about the ex girlfriend and their relationship (but he said he wanted to have a relationship wth me) and how he never saw his friends and thats why he likes to hang with themn soo much and he needed to concentrate on his work....so i said ok well I dont want to be a burden so is this over....are we done?..he goes no I dont want it to be done.....he startes tellin me about family problem and soo on and told me that just cuz he doesnt call me all the time doesnt mean he not thinkin of me..but when he ended the talk he said i just dont want you to think your a burden or that i want it to be over....5 days later he brought up the talk and said he hope he didnt scare me by making me think that he wanted it to be over(i hadnt seen him in 2 weeks cuz he was out with friends)....so 3 days later i called him left a message....and never called back ..so i called him the next day cuz he was leaving for aruba i want to say goodbye at least, if i couldnt see him.....he told me he had just gotten out of work could he call me back? never did so i did and told him we needed to talk call me back when he got a minute......never heard from him again? was everything he said a lie?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-26-2004 - 9:12pm
xicegryl...

Pianoguy doesn't think that everything this gentleman told you was a lie...but that he's not 100% sure as to whether he wants a serious relationship...or just a friendship with you!

It stands to reason that the 2-year "control freak" he was dating--before you came along--messed up his head! It only takes one bad relationship for some men to believe that ALL WOMEN are going to react in a similar manner.

Why not give this man time to make up his mind...while you go about your business. Date others if you want to. If this gentleman contacts you sometime in the future, perhaps the 2 of you can clear the air about what each of you wants (or expects) from the other?

For now...his friends seem to be the priority over you.

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Wed, 05-26-2004 - 9:49pm
It sounds to me like he is young, not ready for a committed relationship at this point. I think he would like to "hang" with you without any real expectations....he wants to give what he can and hope that is OK with you. The real decision lays with you. Are you willing to have no expectations attached to this relationship?
Lilypie Baby Days

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Thu, 05-27-2004 - 1:38pm

Hello xicegyrl!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Thu, 05-27-2004 - 8:42pm
Ok so my next question is.... do I let him have some time and then give him a call in a month or so if he doesnt call me..just to say Hi or will he think that is patterning his old "controlling" EX-girlfriend and that he might not even answer the phone (caller Id)??

Anyone??
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Thu, 05-27-2004 - 9:09pm
Well, you can call him if you want but, as for me, I want to be with someone who wants to be with me. That's the one I will invest my time and efforts in...