Why isnt he saying it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2004
Why isnt he saying it?
4
Tue, 12-06-2005 - 5:47pm

Hi...

I would really love any advice or insights you have on this. Ill try and be brief.

I have been dating a guy now exclusively for about 8 months. Its been wonderful. Back around the 4 month mark I told him I loved him. He didnt say it back, and thats ok, even though it kinda hurt, but thats how I felt. Since then I havent said it since as I dont want it to be ackward. He has made comments that he cares for me alot and stuff, and to be honest, through his actions he shows me he loves me. He is so good to me and always looking out for me. I know actions speak louder than words, but its killing me not to hear it.

Anyway, he came and stayed the weekend with me and we had an incredible time. Talked alot and just got closer. After he left last night he called me on his hour drive home to tell me he missed me already... then lol, he calls back with that song "knock three times on the ceiling if you want me" blaring in the phone, then he says "Ya knockin?" I just laughed. So I decided to send him a cute lovey dovey ecard. I said I may not say it often enough but just wanted you to know how much I appreciate you and said my heart is so full, and Im in awe of how good you are to me. So, this morning he leaves me a voice mail telling me he got my card. He said your such a sweetheart, he started getting choked up and said it brought tears to his eyes, then says "i really really like you"

I should be happy right? It was so sweet, yet I really like you? Come on! What is up with this. I am almost certain he loves me... why all this. Im so confused. Why not say it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Tue, 12-06-2005 - 6:46pm
It sounds like he really "likes you". But the L word scares him. You might want to give him a little more time. In some people's book, 8 months isn't long enough to say the L word. If you get to your 1 year anniversary, and he still doesn't say it, you may want to have a chat with him. Tell him you can't understand why he has trouble telling you he loves you.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Wed, 12-07-2005 - 9:14am

I had a boyfriend once that after a year he still wouldn't tell me he loved me. Finally I cornered him and asked what the problem was because if he didn't ever plan on loving me the relationship was going to be over very quickly. He stammered and stuttered and finally said, "Of course I love you"

After that I couldn't get him to shut up about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Wed, 12-07-2005 - 1:45pm
HE obviously does care but needs to do things on his timeframe. So do your best to relax - DEEP BREATHS - and enjoy the journey
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 4:20pm

I agree with Sherry and the others... you need to let this man come around in his own time.

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