Why just leave without goodbye?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2004
Why just leave without goodbye?
5
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 7:34am
I have a question for boys to answer:

I been in regualry contact with a guy for a year. We met on an online-dating service, and started out very friendly just-for-fun contact. We are both in relitionships, and we have both shared thaughts of this with eachother.

All the time the tone between us has been funny, and neither has expressed how we feel for each other emotionally, just physically.

Well, we have met five times during this year, but have not slept together, even though this has been in the air the past two months. Cause we spendt one night together in last of august, and ever since that we waited for a chance like that again. He has mailed me, called me, texted me that he want to meet again.

But suddenly, a month ago he stopped responding. We was supposed to meet that week, and I mailed him an email with sexual hints, which I have never done before, and when he didnt replie on that I waited for almost three weeks before I texted him one sms asking where he is hiding and if he stikcing to his partner or something else,-but he has not replid. And he has stopped beeing on the dating sentral too, and before he was there alomost every day.

My questions are:

1) Why did he just stop?

2) Why did he just stop even without a goodbye?

I do not expect an explanation, but I do think it's sad he didnt even bother to just end it. He could said:" We cannot meet no more," but he has not said anything. Just like our contact never happened.

Please share your thaughts about this, cause I do not understand why I even wasen't worthy a "go to hell" line

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 11:10am

It doesn't take a "guy" to answer your question.

 Start

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 11:52am
perhaps he didn't want to cheat on his girlfriend with you. Perhaps he wanted to be the one to suggest the sex. Guys like the chase, and if there isn't one there is no need to bother. Furthermore he knows that you also have a man.

My advice would be to let it go, he doesn't owe you anything. What you might want to do for yourself is to further your education. This is not a diss, and I am not trying to insult you, But your grammar and spelling is uh juvenile at best.

There are no rules to the dating game, the sooner you realize this the better off you will be. You have alot of nerve expecting him to be all honest and upfront with you when you proved yourself unloyal by expressing your want to have sex with him, and having a boyfriend.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2004
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 12:36pm
Thanks for your answer. I have to ad that he has already suggested sex with me, but when we spended the night together I said no. And he has cheated on his girlfriend before with someone else, so I dont think thats the answer. I do not expect an explanation from him, I just wanted him to say: Game over, and not just leave like nothing ever happened.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2004
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 12:45pm
Thank you , I been thinking that might be the case too. That he has met another lover, because I know that he still is together with is girlfriend. And no, he will not get another chance if we meet again. And I guess we will, cause he lives only 500 meters from where I live. A funny covincidence actually.

Thank you for sharing your thaughts with me
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 1:04pm
I feel that. I really do. But the painful part to this ( and sadly there is always a painful part ) is that that's just the way men are. Plain as that. We being women have the courage and the decency to let a partner know what is going on. So while you may have been willing to " keep it real " with him it didn't get reciprocated. Or in other words he didn't "keep it real with you". It is easy for me to say " Get over it" but I won't because that is a very insensitive approach to your problem. But what I will say is that I hope yo have learned something from this experience. I hope you can walk away from this and take with you something valuable that will enable you to never be in this position again.

Peace.