Why Me!?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2004
Why Me!?
2
Tue, 09-05-2006 - 11:18am

Okay this is a long story, but I will keep it short. I met this guy two years ago. Just recently we have been going out to the movies, dinner, comedy clubs, etc. Anyway, in July we had sex and that was total chaos. He didn't have a clue about what he was doing, and he was very small. There are some men that are trainable, he's not one of them. After this horrid experience,we never mentioned it again and acted like it never happened. It took a few months for me to go back out with him again. I went out with him again thinking that maybe we could just be friends, and leave it at that.

This past weekend we went to the movies. In the movie he shocked me by touching me. It was more like being groped. I was under the impression that there was an unspoken understanding, but I see I was wrong. Keep in mind that the touching didn't start until we got to the movies, and we rode together in the same car. I asked him when he first started what he was doing. He stopped and never answered me.This is where it took a turn for the worst. I blame myself now, because I should have shut him down when he first started. On the way back to his house his touching got more aggressive. I asked him again what was he getting out of it, because it wasn't that kind of party. I'm just not feeling him like that anymore after the first traumatic experience. His touching me was actually turning me off. He stopped the touching and when I got back to his out he hopped out and acted like nothing had ever happened. He must think I am a play toy or something. I can't even begin to understand what he was thinking. If you were with someone and it wasn't good, and that person never mentioned it again, never even talked about sex again, wouldn't take that as a sign that something was wrong!? The reason I didn't say anything about that experience because there is no easy way to tell a guy, you just don't know what you're doing, or ask him why is he so small. I did what I thought was right, and never mentioned it again. I have never seen anything like it before, and he's not a bad looking guy. Any advice or thoughts???

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
In reply to: putitin69
Tue, 09-05-2006 - 12:35pm

OK, well, umm, you might have thought it was so awful and that you had this "unspoken undertstanding" that nothing would ever happen again, but did you ever think that if he is inexperienced (which he might be) 1) It wasn't all that "traumatic and horrible" for him 2) he might just not get it 3) he also doesn't get it that the inappropriate groping were also bad.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2006
In reply to: putitin69
Tue, 09-05-2006 - 6:52pm
He just isn't your type. Move on.