why the rollercoaster?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
why the rollercoaster?
1
Mon, 11-29-2004 - 9:29am
Ok, I am a little confused...I have been going out with a co-worker for 5 months. He is 25, I am 22. We are both full time students and both work part time. He especially is very busy this semester because he is taking 6 classes and works 22 hours a week.
His interest in me is a like a rollercoaster. One week he might call me every single night, talk for an hour each time and he asks me to come over and hang out etc and everything seems to be going great...the next week he doesn't call me more than once and seems totally "cold" towards me. Why is this??? I know he isn't cheating on me (with his schedule I dont even think its possible lol) but I wonder whether it is just that he is so busy and has so many things on his mind at once. Sometimes I feel totally left out of his life but realize that his education comes first. Does this happen to anyone else or am I the only one? Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 11-29-2004 - 9:55am

What happens sometimes is - the maximum amount a guy gives to a relationship at any time becomes the minimum amount a woman expects to receive from him in the future. Once the guy does not live up to that amount, the woman then gets upset, begins to analyze the relationship and ponder if it is going in the direction she wants.

Would you agree that the above statement is true for you?

Here's the thing. Many men do not prioritize their relationship above everything else in life 7x24x365. Our priorities will change on a day-to-day basis based on what is going on and the specific milestones that need to be achieved. This is the case withhim right now. Perhaps he had some major projects due. Perhaps he has some big tests. His schooling is his priority right now.