Why Won't He Commit?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2003
Why Won't He Commit?
2
Fri, 07-16-2004 - 7:53pm
For the past six months I've had a relationship with a man named John. We do everything that a couple does together: we go on dates, we take eachother to functions, we talk constantly, have great sex and neither of us are seeing other people. He's a great guy and I love the time I spend with him and I know that he adores me, but he doesn't seem to want to make it official. I've discussed with him that it bothers me but he always says he's waiting for the right time. After all these months my patience is starting to run short and I'm starting to feel hurt. How should I proceed?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Fri, 07-16-2004 - 11:07pm
I think you should tell him that if he's not making up his mind regarding this relationship and where it's headed (engagement, marriage, etc) you don't have more time to waste in it. Tell him to call you when he's decided what he wants and you get on with your life. When he calls you'll be the one who will decide if you still want to date him on a serious basis. Sometimes people need a "wake up call".

Since you describe the relationship as "doing the couple thing" he might be so comfy that that's why he doesn't want to commit. Why do it if after all he's enjoying every thing from a relationship without responsabilities to you or the relationship. He's having his needs met and he's disregarding yours.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Sat, 07-17-2004 - 11:48pm
Hi, I have met a guy for 5 months and his name is John too. Can you tell where are you staying now? This guy does same thing to me,...but I am tired of this relationship too. May be the same John? interesting...