Why would he talk about me like that?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2004
Why would he talk about me like that?
2
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 2:13am
Hi,

I have been with my boyfriend for over four years now. We have always had an honest relationship and felt comfortable discussing any issues... or so I thought. I know that guys talk with their friends and sometimes there can be a lot of locker room bravado. I have asked him about this before, if he ever talked with his friends about our intimacy. He flat out denied it. Last night I found out from a couple of his friends that he has indeed shared plenty of detail bragging about my "skills" at a party when he had too much to drink. At first he denied they were telling the truth but when I asked him again today he confessed, although he would not tell me exactly what info he had divulged to them.

I am so confused number 1 because he lied to me flat out in the past about this issue. Number 2, why would he talk about me in a degrading manner like that? Especially because half the time he's not interested anyway because he's too tired, or whatever. Does this make him an untrustworthy? Maybe it was just an impaired mistake, but it seems so out of character. I don't even know if I'm hurt or mad about it, I'm just stunned. Has anyone else had an experience like this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2003
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 7:15pm
I think you can chalk his actions up to being a typical guy =) they LOVE to brag to their buddies about their women PLUS it makes him appear 'less whipped' when he chooses spending time with you over them, you know? I don't think his lying to you is him trying to be dishonest but more like him being embarrassed for having bragged on his girl to his buddies so long as this is the only thing he has lied to you about. Now - it sounds like you are more upset about the him degrading you, I don't think men see it like that - I think they see it as a competition -- "oh yeah well my girlfriend is cooler than your girlfriend because..." If you are really feeling bad about it I would throw it out in the open and find out from him why he's doing it BUT at the same time you might not want to bring it up because he would think you are spying on him. Ok I probably confused you more - I'm sorry.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2004
Tue, 11-09-2004 - 1:08am
Thanks, that makes sense. I think I need to not let this get blown out of proportion.