Will he call me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2005
Will he call me?
8
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 8:35pm

Hi,

This Friday will be 2 weeks ago that I met a guy at a bar. He's my cousins friend friend. We started dancing, he bought me a drink and we exchanged numbers. I was a little drunk so he made sure I had his number on my cell (he entered it himself on my cell) and not only that he took a picture of me with his cell. That night we left together and had sex at his house.
The following morning I told him as soon as I got up that I had to go. He accompanied me to my car and told me to call him once I got home. He just wanted to know I got home safely. He told me he would call me when he got back from his training because his in the marines and that would be about 2 weeks. But, I couldn't wait that long so I called about Sunday. He didn't answer. Then about Tuesday or Wed. I left a message. My message said I know you really didn't want to leave, I hope your OK. I'm looking forward to seeing you soon, if not at least from hearing from you. Then I called him Saturday and he answered. I told him Hi it's ***** and he said I know who it is, I got your message. I've played it several times, but I'm out on the field a lot so I'm sorry I haven't got back to you. He asked me if I was alright and how I was doing. He told me he had to go because he was at the field and he would call me back. He told me to take care.
I called him again yesterday and left him a message. Just because I want him to know I support him, I wouldn't want him to feel that no one misses him besides his family. So, now I'm wondering if I did wrong by calling. Do you think he'll call me like he had said? Or do you think that I blew it? I'm nervous, I really enjoy the time we spent together. He's a very nice guy. During the time we were together he kept asking me if I was Ok and paid attention to what I told him and what he didn't understand he would ask again.

Thanks!!

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: isabe11a
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 12:31am

You really need to stop calling him. He said he would call you; give him a chance to keep his word, and if he doesn't, then he's not worth calling anyway!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2005
In reply to: isabe11a
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 3:48pm
HMMMMMMMMMM since hes in the Marines and they do train hard 24/7 I would let him call you next that was nice of you telling him that you are supportive of him and you miss him but let him call you this way he doesn't feel bombarded with the messages and this way he can show you if he does care about you by calling him let the ball be in his court and go from there
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: isabe11a
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 3:10pm
Well you may not have blown it but
,
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
In reply to: isabe11a
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 3:43pm

I know that it is no fun that 1) you slept with this guy and he has been less than responsive and 2) he had to leave right after you met him. But keep in mind he is very, very busy with his training. He may also have only been interested in a one night stand. You have made your interest more than clear. Don't call him anymore. If he wants to get a hold of you when he has a chance to, he will. More calls and messages from you will just start to look stalker-ish instead of interested and that could turn him off completely when he might still be interested but busy.

Move on and don't get attached to this guy that could amount to no more than a hook-up. Hopefully he will call in the next few days since it will be the two weeks he promised. If not, forget it, chalk it up to a one night stand and move on. You have given him more than enough of a clue to know that you are interested in more. If he is too, he'll let you know.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2005
In reply to: isabe11a
Tue, 08-23-2005 - 4:30pm

Wanted to update. He's back in town I found out Monday! The problem is he didn't bother to call me. But, someone I know that goes to that club were I met him saw him on Sunday. Well I spoke to him either Monday or Tuesday morning. He said he was glad to be back home. Didn't call me back! But I went to the club Thursday not expecting to see him. I had already planned to go with my gay guy friend. Since, it was a week night I had to work Friday, I knew if I went with him he would be bring me home early so that I could rest. So my friend and I were only their till about midnight. Well guess what! My cousing told me that as soon as I left he walked in and asked for me. I was upset! But, they told him that I had left early cause I had to work the next day.

Friday I sent him a text message. Which he responded quickly. The text said "Which 1 is it? 1) Girlfriend! 2)Playing games 3) Not interested Be honest! Don't want to waste my time". Like I said he responded so quickly I was surprised. His response was "4) I am working! How are you?" So from there we text back and forth. He said that if he got off early from work he would be there Friday. Well, guess what! He didn't go!! I was upset again and very dissapointed. But, was happy that I had a good time cause I met someone who was fun to dance with. We interchanged numbers, the next day he was already calling me.

Saturday came I hadn't planned to go out that night. I was going to babysit for my cousin. But, she ended up not going to where she had planned. My cousin and I ended up going to the club. But, I wasn't really expecting to see him there. However, I was looking around to see if he was there. Didn't see him! Then I wished I should of spoke to the guy I met the night before. I was bored and wanted to have fun. But, guess what? The guy I was expecting to see on Thursday, showed up after all on Saturday and so did the new guy I had met the night before. But, I spent the rest of the night with the marine guy the one whom I've been waiting for.

I asked him what was wrong because he was too quiet. He did tell me I looked nice. But, he then asked me "Why are you looking at me like that?" I replied "What you don't want me to look at you? I'll look some where else!" He said "I didn't say that!" So we went in and danced about 2 songs cause I had to use the restroom. Then when I came back he was gone. But, came back. He was at the restroom.

Then he told me "I'll be back I'm going outside". I was wondering if he had ditched me because he wouldn't come in. A friend and I decided to go outside to smoke. I told her I think he ditched me, but he then walked over to were we were at. We went back inside. Then we were going to dance together but my cousin was going to dance and didn't want to leave her purse at the table. The marine guy said you go dance I'll watch out for the purses. We came back and I wanted to dance with him but he wouldn't ask him. I kept dancing hoping he would ask me. Then I saw the guy I had met the night before and he waved at me to go dance with him. So I did, but I told marine guy I'll be back. I only danced one song with the other guy and went back to the marine. I asked the marine guy if he wanted to dance, so we did.

At the end of the night I asked him if he wanted to come over to my cousin's house, I had already planned to spend the night there. So he accompanied me there. He was teaching me how to dance merengue. He told me "I missed you too!" I asked him well why didn't you call?" Well he ended up staying with me. In the morning he told me he wouldn't call me for about 2 wks because he lost his cell and wasn't going to get another one until he got paid. So now I don't know what to think. Is he just using me? I told him I wasn't going this weekend to the club cause I'm going camping. I expect to see him the following weekend at the club. I'm not sure if I should go then or wait to see if he calls me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
In reply to: isabe11a
Tue, 08-23-2005 - 5:39pm

This is crazy. He is very busy and making lots of excuses. I still think he is interested in a hook up and not necessarily interested in a relationship. Of course he is still seeing you and hooking up with you. You are giving him every opportunity and making it very easy for him. Has he still ever bothered to INITIATE communication with you? From what it sounds like, you still have called him first (without him calling you back), texted him first (with what I believe to be an inappropriate email - you hooked up with him, you are NOT his girlfriend) which at least he responded to, you asked him to dance (not the other way around), you asked him to your cousin's house (not him asking you). And of course by the end of the night, he hooked up with you because you were there and more than willing! After all that, he says he can't call you again b/c he doesn't have a phone! Whatever, there are still payphones and friends with phones and there have to be phones elsewhere - that is a lousy excuse.

Girl, he is just keeping you around as a hook-up for when he is in town. Of course guys find it flattering when a girl chases after them. Besides you are making it incredibly easy for him and he knows he has a sure thing! He doesn't have to do anything at all. Believe me tho, he will eventually get tired of all this and move on to a challenge and another girl. In the meantime, you are passing up an available guy who likes to dance and is calling YOU showing you interest. A guy who is in your town and seems to want to be with you. Leave the marine alone for the next two weeks when he said he'd be gone again. Go out with this other guy that has your number (if he bothers to call again now that you left the club with another guy and made it clear he was the second choice) and have fun. Maybe you'll like him. Regardless, leave the marine alone. AGAIN, if he is interested, he'll call you when his next excuse is up.

Sorry if it seems harsh, but you are allowing this behavior. From an outsider's perspective, he has made it pretty clear that he is OK with keeping you around (you forgot Option 4 - interested in a hook-up but nothing long term) but if he were interested in a relationship, he'd find a way to get a hold of you.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2005
In reply to: isabe11a
Tue, 08-23-2005 - 6:21pm
You have to stop calling this guy. If he's interested in you, he will call YOU. Don't chase him. Honestly, guys don't want someone they can get that easy. They are animals, they have to do the chasing. So basically, he is turned off by you calling him right now. If you really want to date this guy, see if he's really interested in you by no contact with him at all. If he's interested he'll call you. If he doesn't call then stop wasting your time and move on. Don't waste your time on someone that won't give you the time of day.
Lot's of Luck
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2005
In reply to: isabe11a
Wed, 08-24-2005 - 5:00pm

I know what you mean and part of me agrees and the other disagrees. I agree with him not bothering to call me and I think he doesn't because he knows that for sure I'll be at the club. Which he's right! I'm there every week. When he doesn't see me, like this past Thursday he asked my cousin and friend about me. I don't agree that I'm the one asking him first to dance, which is wrong. Saturday night when he got there we (my cousin and her friends) were outside smoking and he came straight to where I was. He had just got off from work and was tired. He not only told me he was tired but, I could tell he was tired. He even was wearing his shirt from work becuase, he didn't have time to change. When we were going in HE asked ME to dance. So we did dance but, I had to go to the restroom. That's why we stopped dancing. He had already told me in the past that he hardly dances.

We were all going to go dance again but, he decided to look over our purses because my cousin was concerned since no one was going to stay at the table. Then I DID ask him to dance and he did. I don't think there is anything wrong with asking him. It's not like if done it all the time. Just that one night. I did ask him if he wanted to go to my cousin's house because my cousin was having an after party and I don't think it would of been nice not to invite him. The reason why I ask him to stay was not only did I want to be with him but, he was falling asleep in the living room and his drive was about 30 mins. from my cousin's house. He hadn't had that much to drink but, was tired enough to fall asleep behind the wheel.

I'm not trying to make excuses for him. But, from the first time I met him to this second time I saw him. I could tell that he was really tired. I am however talking to the new he calls me everyday. But, one thing I don't like about him is he doesn't have a car. He walks home, I've seen him. I'm not even sure he works. But, that I'll find out next time I see him or talk to him. As a friend his fun and maybe could get to know him better. Which is Ok for me.

As for the marine guy, I'll see what happens next time I see him. Maybe next time he'll feel better and be more happy. If he's the same then I'll cut him loose!