Will he ever except my kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2004
Will he ever except my kids
8
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 10:52am
I have been dating a guy for a year and a half now. I have four kids and he only has one I have excepted his child but he will not even try to except mine. He is always critizing everthing they do. So because of the kids he will only see me on friday nights when I have a babysitter. He says he loves me he just is not ready for the responsibility of the kids. Will he ever commit to me or am I just running in circles after this one? Should I just walk away or give him more time to deal with the kids? But will he ever really try to like the kids?

Edited 6/17/2004 11:01 am ET ET by wondering3138


Edited 6/17/2004 11:52 am ET ET by wondering3138

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 11:09am

He says he loves me he just don't want the responsibility of the kids.


Lilypie Baby Days

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2003
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 11:16am
OMG If after 1 1/2 years of dating someone and they didn't accept my children, WHOA! He'd be outta there so darn fast it's not even funny! Your children are your number one priority (especially if they are young kids) When you are a single mom and someone wants to date you, its must be acceptance of the whole package or nothing. UNLESS you have no desire to be married. If you have no desire for a strong committed relationship - then go ahead and be his toy BUT keep your children out of this - I would not have this guy around my kids at all. Run run run at fast as you can!!! There are much better out there and they WILL accept your kids (unless your kids are down and out animals!) GOod luck to you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 11:31am
Sorry to be picky, but the correct word is "accept", not "except". The word "except" actually means to exclude someone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 11:41am
Honestly why do you even want to continue to date this man? He flat out told you he doesn’t want any responsibility concerning your children, why men who don’t want to have anything to do with other peoples children date women with children is beyond me. If he ever commits to you I doubt his attitude towards your children will ever change and they will end up resenting you. I lived it with my ex-husband whose mother married a man that flat out told her “I raised my kids I don’t want to raise anyone elses” and put her children through hell, my ex-husband is a very screwed up man because of this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2004
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 11:53am
I think you are right the dating scene needs to go out the window, With him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2004
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 10:04pm
Run fast! Your children are part of you. If he doesn't accept them, he really doesn't accept you. What man would put a woman through that heartbreak if he really loves her?

There are a million men out there, hard to find the good ones, but you will. Your children are your angels. Would you really want a man around them that does not accept them? How do you think that makes them feel? They look to you for love and security, if they see you let a man into your lives that doesn't treat them well, who else can they trust? It will cause huge problems down the line. No matter how great it may be for you, if it isn't just as great for the kids, then it isn't really what you think it is.

Ditch him as quickly as possible, and good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Fri, 06-18-2004 - 8:12am
Sweetie, it apperars that your bf wants to have the benefits of a relationship with no responsability to you or your children. If after a year of dating he says "he's not ready to take on the children", but "he says loves you" then he's not in for the serious commitment that comes when two people meet and decide to share life. Life includes a series of responsabilities and not only sex and time spent together. The core of the situation is for you to think if you want to "wait" for another year or so for him to "change" his thinking ways and decide when he wants to take on the children OR for you to think that this man is in for the benefits with no commitment view in the future. Seeing you only on Fridays when the babysitter is with your children should have told you, and long time ago, that he wanted to enjoy the benefits of a relationship without the commitment. In this deal the feelings that count are his and not yours.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-18-2004 - 12:07pm
"why men who don’t want to have anything to do with other peoples children date women with children"

I think it gives them the "perfect" excuse to keep their distance but continue to enjoy the benefits of companionship. The same reason why sleazy men hit on you when you have a ring on your finger...ugh.