Will it Change?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2005
Will it Change?
4
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 7:25pm

I've been in a relationship for 6 months now with a really good guy. He's everything I wanted in a man. Lately, the realtionship seems stale. Doing the same things, etc. I've made suggestions of new places to go to, etc. only to get turned down. I even spend Sunday doing something with a friend that he didn't want to do.

Well, I guess I reached my frustration threshold and on Sat. told him that this wasn't working for me. I wasn't interested in a relationship where I just spend Fri and Sat nights with him. Yes, I can find other people to do things with but what's the point in being in a relationship. We didn't end things because I told him this wasn't entirely up to me.

There were some other issues also but this was the main one. I didn't end it with him because I felt I needed to let him know how I felt and whether this was something we could work on or not. He could have ended things but didn't.

I feel kinda of guilty in the way I handled it by just coming out and saying this isn't working for me but it is the true. That's not the kinda of relationship that I want. I want somebody to do things with, day trips, weekend trips, etc. I'm not asking for it every weekend but every once in awhile would be nice. Am I asking or expecting too much?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 7:32pm

You're not asking for too much...but it may be too much to expect from THIS guy.

If he's open to trying new things, etc. then he'll make an effort now that you've told him this is an issue for you. If he's not, he won't. And then you'll need to make a decision to either accept him AS IS or move on.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2005
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 8:32pm
I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to lose me or this relationship. I've wondered if he's going through some sort of depression. He told me that things have lost the spark for him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 12:27pm

how did he react when you told him you wanted to do other things as well (before breakup), is he normally quite inflexible, was he able tocompromise


how did he react when you broke up with him


it's very normal to want to do different things with theperson you're involved with - that's how you build a history together


,
Avatar for memphisstars
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 10:10pm
How can he be everything you want in a man if he doesn't want to spend time with you? Barring depression, if he won't address this problem now, I don't think it will just get better. Wanting to be with someone is, to me, the essence of relationship.