Will she come back

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Will she come back
7
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 12:35am
I had dated this girl for about a year and a half or longer. I made a lot of mistakes along the way, such as not thinking she was the one and taking a "break" from our relationship, which basically lasted for about a week or 2 at most and then wed get back together. This happened a fewe times, till the last time when i decided we really did need a break. I then thought i liked a friend of mine, for about 2 weeks is all, but nothing ever stemmed from it and i realized that my love for the past year and a half or so was what i really wanted. I have spent the last 2 and a half months trying to mend things back together. I however only made many failed attempts and when I was coming home for her birthday a week ago she informed me she liked somebody else and that she cant promise we will ever get back together. This guy definately doesnt have what she wants, but is something for her thats new right now. Shes 21 hes 28 with a kid and has a crummy job. I dont fear they will be together very long however she has lately been extremely rude and mean to me. The other day we hung out for about an hour and she was nice to me and said she missed me and hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. I thought things were good, but then i called her 3 days ago and she was with a friend of hers who has a total negative effect on her and she was a total bitch to me again. HELP!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 1:03am
any suggestions from anyone??
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 2:00pm
i think you hurt her feelings in the past and if i were her, honestly, i would not come back. i'm sorry to be so straightforward, treat it as personal view only

we, females, need assurance in the relationships we are in, and a guy who can't decide what he wants and who clearly shows that there are other options he is going to consider, can't provide that assurance i'm afraid. how can she be sure that tomorrow you won't change your mind again and won't say that you need yet another break?

my suggestion would be to not to interfere in her new relationship (you don't know this guy, maybe he is great for her - having a kid and no CEO job doesn't make him a jerk) and would move on

all the best

N

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 5:08pm

You can't really blame this girl for

 Start

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 5:18pm
Okay......my ex did this to me and I will tell you something....no matter how long or hard you try I really hope she doesn't come back to you. Who's to say that after you "have" her again--you won't decide AGAIN that you really don't want her? Thats one yo yo I hope she is strong enough to take a pair of scissors and cut it right off---which she is trying to do. Im sorry to be so harsh, but I am looking at this from her stand point. Chalk this up to a lesson learned..and please make sure you know what you want with the next girl and don't play with her feelings.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 8:46pm
Your ex got tired of your games and that's why she's not taking you back. Those a few times "2-week" breaks and flings you had are what made the glass overflow. Live and learn and don't take for granted what you have. Pick up the pieces and go on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 8:50pm
She finally wisened up and moved on. It seems to me that you're suffering from the grass is greener over there syndrome. You need to learn from this experience that all this coming and going doesn't create a sense of trust in the relationship or in you. If you want to be with someone, be with them. Taking a break means that you want out...you were lucky that she took you back so many times before, but enough is enough...you've proven to her over and over that you're not worth sticking around for. I just read a book called Frog Prince...he's with the sweetest girl who's so in love with him, but he blows it and in the end he realizes that she can move on because while his memories are sweet, hers are painful. Get it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 12:26pm
I'm going to have to agree with everyone else's comments here.

So you left this girl and sought out another girl that you liked, but when THAT didn't work out you wanted to get back together with the one waiting on the side- but SURPRISE! she wasn't waiting anymore.

Hopefully next time you meet a great girl you won't be looking for something better to come along. Look at what you have in front of you, and if it's not what you're looking for, let it go. Keeping someone around as the *fall back* isn't fair. How come you have a right to move on so easily but they don't???

I wish your ex all the happiness with this new guy, and wish you all the best in your next relationship.

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