Will someone advice me pls!!!
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| Thu, 08-12-2004 - 1:54am |
He does not stay in the same country as me but he's only like 4 hours drive away. We still keep in touch and always saw each other when either of us are in either country. We also kept in touch thru phone calls and msn messenger and sms...
I had a crush on him but knew that it will never happened but basically, I have forgotten about it. We spoke abt it before but we already had an understanding that we're gonna remain as friends as he's planning on going back to his original country very soon.
Now, I went to the country which he is located last weekend. I had a wedding dinner to attend there. At the same time, we hooked up and spent alot of time together. He even attended the wedding dinner as my partner as I asked him if he would like to join me or not! He took care of me and we spent 2 nights together. On the 1st night, we both slept on the same bed but nothing happened. We just fell asleep in each other's arms till the next day which I thought was the most beautiful feeling for a man and a woman to do without having any physical intercourse.
Now, on the 2nd night....he and I chatted for about 4hours. He telling me more and more about himself. His past, his current, his family, his dreams and almost everything and anything.
Then, he asked me one question. The question was: "What do you want from me?" I told him that I don't want anything and he asked if I was sure. I replied back "yes" ....
He spoke till he was tired and we feel asleep again in each other's arms...I woke up couple of hours later and I saw this man sleeping beside me. The desire of wanting him more than anything else just hit me. I watched and studied his facial structures carefully and I caressed his face...
Next thing I knew was we were naked and making love. I wasn't sure what I was doing but I knew my desire was there.
After we were done, we had a chat...Both of us sitting on the bed and I could read from his face askin hiimself "What have I done?" and the same goes for me!
We agreed that this will be kept a secret between both of us and that we will never tell anyone. And we also gave each other hugs saying that we will always be best of the bestest friends whatever that happens. And then I left back home. And I was so touched but yet confused...Strong feelings just came crashing down. And I think I have fallen in love with him.
Until now, I have been telling myself that I cannot fall in love with this man. We still keep in touch and he's coming to town soon...and he'll most likely be staying with me.
What am I supposed to do?
I really am forlorn now...

In my opinion, asking "him" the question "what do you want from me, from us", would be a good idea. Has the incident where you were both intimate, changed "his" feelings for you?
Different people have different priorities. Some follow their heart, and others like to be more practical, even if they are in love. U said he is going to be moving soon to his home country. Can you fathom moving there? Or him staying back? Coz, someone has to make this adjustment.
Have an honest discussion with him, and explore these options.
you both seem to share a very beautiful thing...and you should both give some time for your friendship and companionship to develop some more. B'coz if eventually, one of you or both of you decide to NOT have any relationship except pure close friendship, things could be more smoother. In my opinion, I would try to not get physcally intimate with this person, because it would only complicate things for both of you. Something, none of you both are truly ready for at this stage, even if there is attraction. It would only put undue pressure on both of you later.
So, ask urself some hard questions, and get to truly know what's going on in his mind and heart. Discuss practical issues.
Give this some time.
Hope I helped in some way.
Goodluck to both of you!
You cannot get a guy to want a relationship with you if you allow a FWB start up.
I just hope that he doesn't disappoint you too much when he tells you your love feelings aren't returned.
Thank you for your advice...it helped a little I supposed..
He's BACK! He just arrived today and he text me asking what I'll be doing tonight. My BEST FRIEND IS BACK! Yay!
I have decided that I will allow us alot alot of time to calm down and sort things out. And even if his love isn't going to be returned back, at least I still have another kind of love from him already. And that is something that I rather have than to lose it!
Seeing him tonight and I can't seem to stop smiling about seeing my best friend again. The feeling is overwhelming (maybe I am exaggerating a little) and I am looking forward in seeing him again. Is this what you would call "love"? I don't know yet but all I know is that this man believes in me and accepts me for who I am and never once did try or asked me to change.
Sigh...will tell you the results after spending some quality time with him.
Thanks again!
His past scares alot of people away or gives them one kind of a feeling. But the funny part is that he does not scare me one bit. I am not intimidated by him but just listening and laugh about it with him...
He doesn't like it when I keep quiet. Which I did last night, in the car... and he kept on asking me what is on my mind or asked me to talk! All I could do was smile at him and kept quiet. So many thoughts are running thru my mind... Where is this going to? Is he the one? Am I foolish to actually love this man? Is he really my best friend? Am I able to sustain that thin line between us?
Then BOOM...he talked about some women that he finds interesting and that he would like to get to know. I felt a sense of annoyance in me and I felt he was being insensitive. Or was he really being insensitive? Or was he testing me out? Then I realized something, what is the difference between a person who has feelings already or just a mere best friend? And it just dawned to me, I have feelings for him. And that is why I felt annoyed.
We haven't brought up the topic about what happened between us. But he did mention that a mutual friend of ours asked if we slept together as he saw us coming out of the hotel together. My best friend said "No"
And that was the end of it...
I am so foolish...I am in love with this man which I have been trying to avoid. And now I am trapped.
I had a bit of an accident last night after dropping him at a friend's place. My car window shattered and the glass flew towards me. It gave me cuts and scratches. Immediately, I called him and he came to the rescue. He came towards me and pulled me to the side and checked if I was injured and gave me a hug. I could tell he was concerned as I was crying when I called him. He cleared my car up, sent my car to another friend's place as there's security there and then dropped me home. He gave me a hug again and asked if I will be okay. And I said yes...
I felt that I could always count on him from last night onwards. Despite the fact that he doesnt even have a car here as he's a foreigner but he made his friend drive him and then sent me home.
Now, I dont know what to do anymore...
Any advice?