Will we ever be able to do it???

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2003
Will we ever be able to do it???
1
Sun, 08-01-2004 - 5:28pm
I need help. These is a long one but please take the time to read it and maybe offer some advice, I am really upset over this. My boyfriend and me have been going out for about a month and a half. But I was good friends with him for about a year and a half before we were a couple. He is 24 and I am 21. So here is the problem, we haven't had sex together yet. We both really want to but it just never works out. We have had many chances to but something always seems to happen, for example we will be going at it making out and he will get hard but then as soon as we go to actually do it he goes soft. Or last night we were in the hot tub and I was giving him a hand job and I guess I took to long or I wasn't doing a good job b/c he just started to go soft. In the past when we couldn't do it he was upset but positive, like don't worry babe we'll figure it out. But last night, I don't know if he was just really upset or what but he wasn't positive at all. It was more like "I don't know what to do from here. He's like "it just feels awkward and I don't know why. It shouldn't be this hard" The same thing happened to a girl I know who started dating her friend (although they had been friends for 10 years prior) and everything was perfect with them he just couldn't get past the friend thing and couldn't keep it hard in the bed. I am really worried that this is going to end our relationship. And we will end up like them. Which is stupid b/c both him and me agree that everything else is perfect. He has mentioned that, he is used to slutier girls who are more aggressive in bed. They take the lead. The problem is I am used to the guy making the first move and being the aggressor. I don't know how to be like that and I don't have that much experience so I don't know what to do. If he could just stay hard long enough for us to figure it out. I have thought about suggesting viagra or some other herbal treatment, he has taken it before. I know it seems drastic but if we could take the pressure away and he would stay hard then it would be easier. We just need to get the first time over with, so we know we can actually have sex. PLEASE any help is appreciated
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Sun, 08-01-2004 - 7:43pm

Well, you know hon ... I don't mean to try to turn you away from this particular board, but you might get more help on the Dr. Ruth board, or one of the other other sex advice boards on iVillage.

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