Will we last?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Will we last?
2
Fri, 03-05-2004 - 10:05pm
My boyfriend and I have had alot of disagreements and situations in our relationship of 2 years. Our biggest trial in our relationship was his cheating on me. We worked through it and continued on making our relationship stronger. But, no matter what neither one of us leaves the relationship. I know I stay b/c I love him, and I am comfortable with the relationship. I asked recently him why he continues to stay through the arguments and everything else that happens. His response was b/c he loves me and does not want to lose the time we have invested in our relationship. So we are both staying b/c we do not want to go out and find someone else or start again. Should we stay in a relationship b/c we are both comfortable? Can a relationship last in this manner and survive into a lasting marriage?



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: tjack05
Fri, 03-05-2004 - 10:23pm
Being comfortable is not the same thing as staying b/c you don't want to go out and start over. There's nothing wrong with being comfortable. There's lots wrong with staying in a relationship just b/c you don't want to go out and start over, no matter how much time you've invested. The time you've invested so far is no guarantee that it will last any certain amount of time in the future. There are no guarantees. And...unfortunately love alone isn't enough to make a relationship happy, healthy and successfully long lasting. It takes lots more than that: trust, fidelity, compatibility, communication, honesty to name a few things that are a must IMO. Two people can love one another and care about one another but still not be right for one another -- still not end up working out.

Nobody can predict for you how long your relationship will last. But if you're here asking for opinions, you must doubts about it. Why is that, do you think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
In reply to: tjack05
Sat, 03-06-2004 - 11:49am
If the only reason you are both staying is b/c of the time invested and b/c you don't want to go out and find someone new, then I think you are staying for the wrong reasons and the relationship probably won't last.

What are your disagreements about? What about his cheating? Has he examined what made him cheat? Do you trust that he won't do it again?