Win back guy when you broke it off
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| Sat, 05-19-2007 - 4:43pm |
I met a really super nice guy last summer and had a pretty hot and heavy quick relationship with him, but it was right after my marriage ended and because of that in Nov I broke things off and then we got back together for a couple weeks and I broke it off again---anyways months later I miss him and realize what a great fit we were together, but I was not emotional available to him. I would hope to get advice on how to win him back?
He has agreed to go to lunch with me in a couple weeks after an awkward phone call. I screwed up big even left him in florida in january because my emotions were crazy, but now that I went to therapy and been feeling great the past couple of months, and dating other guys I miss him.
Thank you for your time and advise!

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So what about his behavior confuses you? I know you feel he "hesitantly" agreed to Friday night - is that what bothers you? Since he is open to seeing where things go and kissed you, I would say it sounds good so far.
There is going to have to come a time where you stop apologizing to him. You put yourself in a position now of having to make up for how you previously treated him. If this relationship is going to take off...you both have to come back to equal positions within the relationship. I forget, has he said that say he forgives you yet?
Just confused as I prabably shouldn't be....he came after me pretty strong/lots of emails/flowers/wanting to see me----feels weird that I am the one asking all the time is my confusion, but I kinda understand at the same time as I am the one trying to get him back. That is it that I want the relationship the way it used to be and I am not used to being more of the asker/trying to create conversation.
Yes, he says he forgives me completely and completely agrees that I did not do anything maliciously, just a lot to let go/block out of his mind as he puts it.
That is not to say that it can't be better this time, but you have to start over, and try to build a new relationship. If you are holding onto the way it was and that is what you want, I think you will be dissappointed.
Actually, opposite---he has---I got scared----I was in such an unhealthy relationship prior to him that ended early last summer and I was scared that it could go that easy with a person as my last relationship was so difficult all the time(I checked myself into weekly therapy sessions for 07 and kind of went through three stages of it is ok to be a failure/not workout a relationship, then I got so mad at myself for allowing me to be in a relationship like that for all this time, then in end march I just wasn't mad at me anymore and just happy to have everything I have)---I mean with this gentleman we have so many common interests, I can tell him anything, he makes me laugh and smile all the time, he listens to me and makes me feel beautiful on the inside first and not look at me like I am just some pretty face, he notices and remembers the little things about me. He has my main qualities that I look for---kindness to others, very mannerly and respectful towards me, very funny/humorous, adventurous, and likes me for the inside and what makes me up
I did start going on different dates the past three months, wonderful dates and catches actually, yet I had no where near the chemistry that I had with this guy from talking to travels to caring about the society to little everyday humors. I realize that when I was with him it was bad timing on my end as I needed to process the above things fully which I have.
What do you mean by overly emotionally giving?
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