women "born to serve men"????

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2004
women "born to serve men"????
3
Fri, 11-05-2004 - 9:55am
Hi all,

I have posted here before about being in a relationship that did not make sense. Actions and words did not match, a lot of things were just "wrong". Anyway, I finally after 10 months of putting enormous effort and giving patience into the relationship, broke it off. The reason was that I thought he was completely selfish in bed. His response was "Women are born to serve men, and please them whenever men want to be pleased. Sexually, women don't need pleasure, men do. They are also suppposed to cook and be happy and honored to be with their man." Shall i mentioned he told me he lvoed me every day and i never really "felt" it, the loving feeling, you know the feeling you get when you know someone is into you..

I know I made the right choice, but I am also a bit sad, and disappointed that I spent so much time with him, when I had the feeling this was wrong from the beginning. I haven't been single for a while (7 years) and i don't know where to start from.

Please give me any advice you have. Thank you!

d_willis

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2004
Fri, 11-05-2004 - 1:49pm
You are free now to find someone who will respect, admire, and want to please you as much as you do them. Be happy. Be good to yourself. Forgive your "slow" learning process. You should feel that you deserve all these things, because you do. Find a speed dating event, join a club, pursue your hobbies. It is all up to you. If you are ready to date, then put your energy into it. If you need more time to love and forgive yourself-- you know deep down if you do-- then do that.

Much luck to you.

Maria

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Fri, 11-05-2004 - 2:55pm
I must say kuddos to you.....Getting out of a situation like this takes more courage than staying. Your ex fit the description of the selfish, "macho" man. You must have had no sense of self worth to share a minute with a man who thinks that women are objetcs, per your message. He must have done a great job by telling you how "he loved" you as well as how insignificant you are. After leaving this nightmare in this century, you should first take a good look at your life, values and beliefs and go to some kind of therapy to discover why you felt complelled to date a man with such character. Why you allowed this to happen to you. After finding out why then learn from this experience and never ever make the same mistake.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2004
Fri, 11-05-2004 - 3:20pm
Thanks all for the advice,

I feel extremely relieved now that I made that decision! I agree I need to do some thinking as to why I stayed for so long and I am looking forward to that and to enjoying being single for a while. The funny thing is that I was never happy in the relationship, I am the kind of person who knows what I want and have solid criteria, but I never managed to get out of the sticky situation with my ex, until now.

Actually, I am still shocked by the statements he made. I have heard before of men like that, read about them, but never thought I would ever hear something like that, or that people who seriously think that way exist. Maybe some of you have met jerks like this, it's a first for me, at least to such an extreme.

d_willis