Women Over 30. Once and for ALL....
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 11-03-2004 - 8:04am |
Ok. I've dated many guys in my lifetime and it was known (in my day and age) that the guy paid for the first couple of dates. He woos you. He wants to impress you; win you over. Obviously, this is if he likes you and hopes that there maybe a possible future relationship with you. After the initial dating and you get more into the bf/gf thing, it basically becomes dutch pretty much. Fair is fair. Well, the past four years of my dating...the guy immediately expects dutch. This leaves me feeling insignificant and like he doesn't think much of me. I feel resentful. I feel like these guys are totally tightwads and cheapskates and it makes me not want to see them again. I give them the benefit of the doubt on the first date cause it's usually from the internet and hey, they don't know me but if we go out again - c'mon man, make an effort! Granted, I prefer younger men so maybe it's just their age (I don't date under 30 though so they should know better).
Aside, from Doubleblade (I don't care for the constant alliterations) - What is your take on this? Women over thirty please. Thanks for your help!!

It isn't a problem for me to pay, I certainly make my own money, but I must admit that I would be kind of dumbfounded if a guy had asked me to split the check after asking me out...It's just about being a gentleman. I would like to feel that he's trying to make a good impression on me and that he wants to treat me like a lady (that he kind of sees me worth "investing" in). I can see what you mean about the on-line dating thing (the first date), that's a bit different. But if he asks you out again, he should certainly be able to treat you to a meal and/or some drinks!
So, to state my opinion on this: I agree that these guys you've met come across as cheapskates and kind of un-gentlemanly. I think it's strange behavior, even though women are independent and have no trouble keeping themselves these days, some "rules" still do apply in the early courtship between men and women. At least the men who value this are the ones I'd want to date! Hope you find someone soon who breaks this pattern you've been experiencing :-)
If I were to constantly encounter men that did not want to make the possible investment of buying me a meal, or a movie, or hell even some alchohol, I would consider broadening my horizons and trying other avenues to meet men.
At 37, girlfriend you deserve at least a real date.
Good luck.