Women, Phone calls.. WHY?
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| Sun, 03-07-2004 - 8:39pm |
Ok, first a little background: About 2 weeks ago, I ran into a girl I knew from college (freshman year) -- and she recognized me (after THREE years of not seeing her -- and we had only talked a little in school, but I felt there was a connection). Anyway, we talked, and I ended up asking for her phone number (tues).
At the urging of various women in these forums, I called her the next day (wed). I got her on the first try, but our phone call was very brief (maybe 30 seconds), and consisted of "Oh, Hi! I'm really busy working on a project and studying for a test, can you call me back tomorrow night?". Ok, I'll buy that; The next day, I called her (at about the same time), and she didn't answer -- so I left a voicemail, with my phone #.
I waited Friday, to see if she'd call... no dice.
Saturday I called twice (afternoon, night) since it's possible that she doesn't check her voicemail. Sunday I called once, and none of those calls did I ever actually get ahold of her.
Anyway, I stopped trying, so Mon - Fri I didn't call; But on Friday I ran into one of her friends, and he asked me if I had called her. I told him I had, and talked for 30 seconds, and that she told me to call her back -- but I never was able to get ahold of her. He told me that she had been really busy (it was midterms week at most colleges, and I think she has a job), and that she would probably call me. However, I told him I thought she had blown me off.
I mean, how many 'missed calls' can someone reasonably expect (on what I believe is a cellphone) before it's more than coincidence? (especially in an age when most people have caller-id on their cell phones now too)
So what's your opinion?
Blown off -- did I seem too eager calling her the next day? I couldn't have possibly said something stupid yet; but if she wasn't interested in talking to me, why did she give me her #??
Call her?
Wait for her to call?
Eh, I had already written her off, and then I run into her friend...

And for the curious, yes, I was going to call her to ask her out, but it's kind of a moot point if I can't get ahold of her ever...
:P
No matter how busy I am - and I am really crazed these days - if a man I am interested calls, i call back within 24 hours and usually much sooner.
There's the possibility that she really is busy, really intended to call you back. Being a workaholic myself, there are sometimes days, weeks that go by before I realize I haven't called someone back that I said I was going to. She may have thought of it, then decided to wait til she had a decent amount of time to talk to you (which hasn't happened yet) It's awkward to call someone and say, "see, I'm calling you, I still don't have time to talk, so I'll call you again later"
I am in a relationship now, I MAKE time to call my guy, but in the beginning (he also being a workaholic) we didn't talk or see each other much, and a few times he did try to get together with me, I had to put him off because I had other plans already. Sometime's it surprises me we managed to even become "a couple" let alone stay together for 10 months!! The thing is, we understand how the other thinks, we don't get offended when we don't have time for the other because we know how it is. Neither of us likes when a partner accuses us of avoiding them or cheating because we are putting time into our jobs, and neither of us would ever even think of suggesting something like that to the other (even though both of us at times have felt bad because we don't get the time with each other we'd like)
So - this is for you to decide, do you really want a relationship with a woman that has minimal time for you?? Could you handle that? and perhaps she realizes as well that while she may like you, and would love to talk/get together again, she just doesn't have the time to put into a new relationship right now because of other priorities (such as school)
and on the other hand - the others may be right, she may just NOT be interested in talking again, or the multiple calls have scared her away.
I know they should not get attached but its human nature.
If you are not interested, be honest with the person. Don't make a mockerey out of them. I think people enjoy rejecting others. It soothes their insecurties and makes them feel like they have the upper hand.
I once met a guy, he said, he was interested, gave me all is digits to reach him, including work if I ever needed to talk to him. He even assured me that calling him at work was never a problem and he would always be happy to speak to me. I called a couple of times, He either told me, he will call me back and never did or if I left a voicemail, he never returned my call. Why do waste both of our times.
I got quite angry and sent him a stern email about not having respect for me, my time and most of all making a mockerey out of me. I didn't care if I didn't hear back from him.
He actually wrote back and apologized for his behaviour. He tried to convince me that he has been busy and hasn't had a chance to see me and will as soon as he can find time. I don't know if I buy that, but thats besides the point. The point is, I asserted myself.
And most of all, he will think twice before he does that again to someone else.
So people, do everyone a favour. If you are not interested, just say so. Stop wasting everyone's time.
Have a great day!!
Move on! : )
Best wishes.