Wonderful date...huh...??

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2004
Wonderful date...huh...??
13
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 3:43pm
Hi:

I had a wonderful date with a very pleasant and attractive woman last night. I like her very much. I have dated many women and it is rare that I meet a woman I take to immediately. In fact, I have only once met a woman that I liked so much right away, and that was a long time ago.

I am 44 years old and this is the first time in my life I have met a woman, whom I actually believe could be "the one," upon initially meeting her. Isn't that wierd? She certainly seems to have all of the requisite characteristics in which I am interested, at first glance.

I enjoyed this woman's company very much and I am certain she enjoyed mine. We had a very pleasant evening which ended with some warm kisses and a suggestion on her part that we meet again (which I certainly would have suggested had she not), at which time we agreed to another date.

From the outset, I have had a unique feeling about this woman. So, On the way to see her I stopped in the city (San Francisco) and got a bouquet of flowers for her, along with some chocolates from Ghirardelli.

We had a nice dinner on the Bay, in a place she enjoys, drove to another charming place, again on the Bay (and again a place of her choosing, one she enjoys), for a cocktail, and we talked for a couple of relaxed hours.

When we parted company, we were both very "high" on the experience.

It took me over an hour to get home -as, she lives about that far away- and I honestly expected to find an email or a voicemail waiting for me, telling me what a nice time she had and expressing some appreciation for a pleasant evening.

To my surprise, there was none.

I must say, this has left me feeling cold; I am a bit insulted. I went out of my way to make our evening a nice experience. I brought flowers, chocolate for her, made sure we had a nice dining experience: I know we both had a nice time.

I am thinking that in the hour it took me to drive home, she could have taken a minute or two to send an email or leave me a voicemail, thanking me for a pleasant evening and saying she had fun...or something that confirms my experience with her (which would suggest that there is a momentum that we should recognize and direct). Am I expecting too much?

Normally, I would't be concerned, I just would not see her again; but I really like her, very much. I am also aware that it is foolish to expect things from people who do not know how to give them, regardless of how much you may like the person. I am not sure that this is simply a mistake or an oversight on her part and I am not willing to dismiss her so quickly because I do like her. However, I am certain that I would not pursue her much longer if this were to show itself to be a habit.

I would like to hear some opinions about this situation.

Thank you.

dh

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 8:11am
If she was gracious and appreciative on the date I do not think she needed to send you an email or call you especially an hour later - you are expecting too much and she probably didn't want to seem pushy since she asked you out again. I also think it is highly unrealistic for you to be thinking you know she is the one based on one date, especially since you are so quick to judge a person who didn't thank you again an hour after the date. When is the last time you got a thank you note for a gift within an hour.

In addition it was very nice of you to do the flowers/candy but it was unnecessary and not as if she asked you to - had she had car trouble during the date and you waited with her for hours for someone to come and help, or fixed the car then yes she should have called the next morning again to thank you - but flowers and candy while certainly very nice are not totally out of the ordinary on a date.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 10:41am
dh,

Welcome to the shoes of every woman who has waited for the ridiculous "three day phone call rule" to mature, and the men who practice it along with it.

I'm sure this is a case of either, she didn't want to seem to eager by not at least waiting a day to call and express her satisfaction with the evening. She no doubt thanked you before parting company. Or, she's allowing you to do the pursuing for right now. If you opened the topic of your date with her, I'm sure she would tell you what you're hoping she would say on her own, if the date went as well as you think.

Good luck, and do let us know how it turns out.

Ivy

georgiasugarbaby@yahoo.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 12:54pm
Did she thank you at the end of the date?? If so, isn't that enough?

Jenn

 

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