work party-wrong to ask him to shave?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2005
work party-wrong to ask him to shave?
5
Wed, 12-14-2005 - 3:40pm

My corporate office is having a professional xmas party for all branches at an expensive country club with a dress code. My boyfriend of a couple of yrs will be going with me.

However, he doesnt own a sports coat or jacket and doesnt feel the need to purchase one to fit in and he has a full beard. Is it wrong of me to ask him to shave and buy a coat? Should I purchase the coat for him and that way at least if he doesnt shave we wont stand out as much?

I have informed him that he doesnt have to attend-but he insists since i have to drive a few hours to get to the location.

It seems like he would want to look nice and be groomed-I mean as a girl when i accompany him to a wedding or work party i shave my legs a buy an appropriate outfit if i dont have one. Any advice??

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Wed, 12-14-2005 - 5:07pm
I don't think you have a right to ask a man with a full beard to shave it off for a party. I suppose if you were concerned, you could ask him to make sure his beard was neatly trimmed. As for the coat, would he be in violation of the dress code without it? If so, explain to him that if he wants to go with you to the party, he has to meet the dress code.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2005
Wed, 12-14-2005 - 8:20pm
He wouldnt be in violation of the dress code -but I think all the other guys will be wearing one (of course I shouldnt worry about that i guess) He didnt have the beard when I met him and I dont care for it, but I see what your saying -it would probably be wrong of me to ask him to shave it completely. thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 12-15-2005 - 7:47pm

You told him he doesn't have to attend but since he wants to he has to realize this is a corporate party and your work and so he is an extension of you and has to blend in.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2005
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 12:53pm
Well, he has finally agreed to wear a jacket but I don't think he is going to shave. I guess that's better than nothing and hopefully I won't feel as uncomfortable. thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 3:39pm

<< Well, he has finally agreed to wear a jacket but I don't think he is going to shave. I guess that's better than nothing and hopefully I won't feel as uncomfortable. thanks! >>

The jacket is a good idea, as it would be appropriate to dress for the occassion. However, the beard is his choice ... his body, his facial hair, his choice. It's not really appropriate, IMO, to ask him to shave b/c you don't like it. If he likes it, accept him as he is ... or not. Your choice.