Would this be too weird?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Would this be too weird?
9
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 10:57pm
I just need a friendly but honest opinion about something I've been debating about doing...please bear w/ me if I sound kinda' lame. =) I'm 24 yrs old but I've had this crush that makes me feel like I was back in junior high. There was this this guy from school that I had a huge crush on a few years ago. I had a class w/ him one semester (a few years ago) but my attendance was really bad so I never had a chance to get to know him, but he was always really nice to me and even gave me study guides to help me pass the class. Since then, we'd see each other around school but it was always in passing, so we never had a chance to have a real conversation. There would even be LONG periods of time that we wouldn't see each other, and when we did it SEEMED like he was happy to see me, and even asks me where I've been and why he hasn't he seen me around. Even though I liked him a lot, I never had the guts to ask him out...and everytime I saw him I could never think of anything to say then he'd just end up walking away. But I always had this feeling that he was even just a little interested in me, since he always seemed genuine everytime we chatted.

Anyways, a current classmate of mine told me that he used to tutor him, and that he has my crush's email address. I've been debating whether to email him to say HI (I don't know why but I honestly think he'll stll remember me), but I'm trying to think of a good reason to email him, or how I can explain how I got his email address without seeming stalker-ish...lol! =)

What do you guys think? Should I just forget the whole idea or take a chance that he'll reply back and we can finally establish a friendship.

Thanks! =)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 11:20pm
Well first beware of tricking yourself into believing it's just a friendship. If you describe him as a crush, then there's more to it... So be prepared for what may or may not come of it...

As for emailing him, sure why not? Nothing wrong in saying "Hey, so and so had your email and I wanted to say hi... been thinking about you and wondering how you are..." Just be careful of your expecations...

Hope this helps. Keep us posted!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2004
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 11:35pm
I would'nt email him. I think it's kind of intrusive to email someone who has'nt invited you to or given their email address to you directly. I think it would be easier to chit chat in person and see if you have any common interests. If he was interested he would ask you out or pursue in some way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2004
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 11:51pm
I agree. I would say no on e-mailing. If someone e-mailed me that I hadn't given it to, it would make me a little uncomfortable, esp. in a male-female situation. You'd be better to ask the guy for his e-mail the next time you see him. Bring it up casually and see his reaction. That at least gives him the choice. If you e-mail him without his permission, it puts him on the spot to respond, even if he doesn't want to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 12:14am
yeah you're right..it wouldn't be right to contact him if he didnt' give me his email address directly. It's just that he just graduated, so there's no chance of me running into him again, and this was the only way I can think of to get in touch w/ him. Well I guess if it's meant to be then it will happen some other way. =) THANKS for your input!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 12:20am
you're right..it wouldn't be right to contact him if he didnt' give me his email address directly. It's just that he just graduated, so there's no chance of me running into him again, and this was the only way I can think of to get in touch w/ him. Well I guess if it's meant to be then it will happen some other way. =) THANKS for your input!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 1:24am

And don't forget that he

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 8:56am
Need your help in understanding something... Since the OP and the guy went to school together, I'm really at a loss as to why establishing contact via email would be so bad. Haven't you ever reached out to old classmates or what not? So I'm just confused as to what would be so bad if she just emailed him saying she bumped into a mutual friend or something since she's not really going to see him anyway... Confused!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 10:14am

Because an email address should be private, just like a phone number, unless the person gives you the address.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 11:25am
Ok, good point... so maybe a better solution would be for the mutual friend to contact him first and then she could go from there? ;)