Would This Bother You Guys?? - Need Help
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| Mon, 07-31-2006 - 9:19am |
Ok,
I REALLY need advice here… I met a guy on match (as I've already mentioned)… We've hung out 3 times so far and everything's great. He asked me to be exclusive with him over the weekend too. He's been very upfront and honest about his situation. I'm 29, he's 36 (will be 37 in august). He's divorced with 2 daughters, 11 and 13 (who I met last night). That doesn't bother me. The one thing about his whole situation that bothers me is not the fact that he has a good relationship with the daughter's mother (she is involved with someone and has been steadily for a while now), but the fact that he lives all the way out east and so when he needs to go to a job in nassau (almost 40 mins away) he'll sometimes stay at the house with the ex (or without her when she's staying at the boyfriend's) and the daughters. I am kind of uncomfortable with this and I told him so. He told me there is nothing to worry about, there is absolutely nothing going on there, that they're just good friends now and that she even knows about me and I'll probably meet her sometime soon. I've never dated a divorced guy with kids so I don’t know how to handle this. I just know that he's been very honest and upfront about everything else, he's gone out of his way to be respectful and to treat me right so far, but this one thing just makes me a little uncomfortable. I really need advice on this..

I can see why you would be uncomfortable, and I can see why this man would accept a free place to stay.
There may not be anything happening in this situation, ...or there could be. Sometimes people might hang out excessively at ex's houses to be part of the family, or part of their lives. If this is the case then this man really hasn't moved on, you will be the girlfriend but this guy is still going to spend much of his time with his kids and his ex.
You need to look at the situation and figure out how much you are willing to accept. If it is early on in the romance, you might be better off moving on and finding a man who has left his baggage at the bus terminal.