Would like a male perspective on this!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
Would like a male perspective on this!
2
Tue, 11-28-2006 - 12:25pm
I am usually just a lurker, but I had the weekend from he** and I need a little perspective! I'll keep this short and sweet. I have been seeing a guy for a couple of months. He was transferred to a neighboring state about a month after we began seeing each and we have been corresponding by emails and phone calls daily since he left. He asked me come visit for Thanksgiving and paid for my plane ticket to do so. Everything was going great and we had a lot plans for what we were going to do when I got there (restaurants, places to visit etc.) About a week before I was to fly up there, his emails and calls all but stopped. A flag went up for me, but I thought he was probably working or busy making sure things were ready for the holiday. I finally called him to make sure he knew what time to meet me at the airport and during the conversation he was different from our previous ones. He seemed distracted, for lack of a better word.
When I finally arrived last week, he was like a different guy. He was distant and quiet and barely touched me! This from a guy that was very physically affectionate previously. None of the plans materialized and we hardly did anything other than hang out at his house. He even seemed kind of short and irritated with me at times, which is very unlike him. He has always been such a laid back kind of guy. The entire weekend was weird and strange and I was so at a loss of what to do that I myself clammed up and couldn't even talk to him about it. I know that I have to call or email and ask him what was going on. I am just so hurt and upset that I have not been able to do that yet. I guess I am looking for some suggestions of what to even say. I get it that he's probably not into me anymore, but WTF? What could have happened in the span of a week to make him do a 180? Thanks for reading and letting me vent! Any feedback you all might have would be greatly appreciated!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-29-2006 - 1:28pm

yogagirl2006...

PG thinks it's impossible to read anybody's mind....whether it's male or female? So he's gonna speculate with 4 possible reasons for your b/f's behavior:

1. There was a family issue that he didn't want to discuss with you?
2. He had a few problems at his place of work that he didn't want to discuss with you?
3. There was a personal health problem that he wasn't comfortable discussing?
4. There's another woman in the picture...and he certainly wasn't going to bring HER up?

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
Wed, 11-29-2006 - 3:52pm
Thanks very much for your post. I have decided to allow myself a couple of days to process, look at my own actions and reactions and then call and talk to him about it. Your questions made a lot of sense and I intend to ponder them a little more before I make the call. I was just so perplexed at how different he seemed from just the week before that I could not just take a time out and ask a few questions while I was there with him. I think I flipped into survival mode. :) I am also pretty used to having guys seem very interested in me and persue me and then just as I let my guard down and think "maybe this guy is really interested this time" having the guy just up and change his mind. Not sure what that is all about. I really kind of thought that I was over that hump with this guy. But any way thank very much. I enjoy your posts very much and it is always great to have a male mind to bounce off of about these things!