Would she be emailing me 4 months after I sent her the letter if she was moving forward w/ this other guy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2013
Would she be emailing me 4 months after I sent her the letter if she was moving forward w/ this other guy?
Fri, 07-19-2013 - 10:15pm

I'll keep this simple, we dated for almost 2 years, she moved away for grad school 1.5 years ago, terminating the relationship for that reason and then had someone new right away. Idk if it was a rebound or what, she is known for that. We stayed in touch until she had him and then I stopped talking to her because I was hurt. She would still like/comment on my FB wall, but I unsubscribed from hers and haven't looked at it or liked/commented on anything since!

It sound like they had broken up twice in a 7 month period and then she began to bother me a lot more, usually via FB, but also received pics of her cat on 2 different occasions, random misc texts aka conversation starters. Out of all of my FB friends, she would like/comment on my posts way more than anyone else. People were telling me she still probably liked me and realized the grass wasn't greener on the otherside and that I should tell her how I felt about her and not ignore/play the hard to get game. Well, 7 months later, she was back with that same guy from school again.

Now I know she is not here, but Idk what her intentions were with me. After I saw her back with that guy, I disabled my FB account and haven't been back since Thanksgiving time. People advised me to write her a letter, so I did. I sent it write before Christmas and it was a detailed, deep and emotional letter. I told her I had hope for a future between us like when she returns, etc. I explained why I wrote and how I felt about her. I told her that I was very proud of her for getting into a PHD program ,etc.

I never have opened the email account that I sent it from since. Last Saturday I accessed my AOL account which I rarely check and there was an email from her in it and it was sent that morning too. Very bizarre I know! The subject like was "Question". I didn't open it and haven't yet because I'm nervous about rejection obviously.

My gut initially said its good she has a question and is trying to communicate and sending it to my AOL must mean she probably tried the account I sent the letter from, but since I haven't opened it, she's trying other ways.

Women are telling me I don't have anything to worry about and its likely a good thing in my favor to open it. I've been told if it was bad, she likely wouldn't try other email accounts or write me at all.

Basically, she was begging for my attention for many months, I was ignoring her on purpose and then school guy came back.

I want to make it clear, that I don't know her to play me, be mean or anything like that.

I've had some people say that if she was indeed moving forward with this sunglasses guy, she woulnd't email me 4 months later? What kind of question could she have?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2013

After two years of dating, she broke up with you instead of continuing your relationship long distance. That means she didn't love you. Someone who loved you would make it work long distance until you could both live in the same place again. She kept contacting you even though she knew it made your heart hurt. She apparently liked the ego boost of knowing how much you wanted her back, or assumed you did. She's wishy washy. She broke your heart once. She's not worth the risk. Break the ties once and for all and tell her not to contact you again. You're not going to have closure until you do this. Let God or fate help you to pick out a more stable woman who wants you all to herself for the long term.  Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

This is really pathetic--if you want to know what your EX girlfriend thinks, the only way to do so is to open & read her email.  What difference does it make what a bunch of strangers guess about it--then you'll have your answer once and for all.  Honestly I think it's very sad that it's been so long & you have not been able to move on with your life.  I understand that you loved her but she didn't want to continue the relationship and she dated someone else while you have been pining for her all this time.  I really think you should find a therapist to help you deal with this.  And I'm not saying that in a judgmental way, it's really to help you--people get broken up with all the time, even after being married and it's something that you have to learn to deal with and get over.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010

  Read what she wrote.  Next stop pining for her.  You can be friends you can be there for each other but you cannot have a real relationship long distance.  She is moving on with ther career and life.  This is just a lesson to you.  Move on no matter what the letter says.