Would you date your neighbor?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Would you date your neighbor?
6
Sat, 08-26-2006 - 9:26pm
Would any of you go out with someone who lives in the same apartment building as you? I agreed to a date with a guy who I met earlier in the week before I knew this tidbit of information. When he told me this as we were making plans yesterday, I told him it felt weird and he was like, it's not weird but just a coincidence. To me, it is weird since I'm a very discreet person and don't want my neighbors gossiping about me. I've only lived in my current apartment for a few months so we never ran into each other. Part of me also doesn't want to go out with him because he's 15-20 years older than me and though he has a nice personality, I can't get over the age difference. I feel bad calling off the date and want to know if anyone else on here agrees with me that it's not advisable to date a neighbor.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Sat, 08-26-2006 - 9:34pm
You know, a few years ago I would have said NO! But then my friend did. And he wound up marrying the girl. They were just discreet during their dating. So I say don't let opportunity pass you by. He may be a great guy and to throw that away just because he lives in your building makes no sense... Go on a date and go from there. Day by day. Cross the bridge when you need to, ya know?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Sat, 08-26-2006 - 9:45pm
Well, if he was closer to my age and I was clearly physically attracted for him, then I might but I don't feel an attraction to him so I have my doubts that it will go very far anyway. I get freaked out by large age differences (more than 5 or 6 years).
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Sat, 08-26-2006 - 9:48pm

Ahhh gotcha. Well in that case, what about canceling? Curious... why did you accept in the first place?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Sat, 08-26-2006 - 10:04pm
I have a hard time saying no unless I'm 100% sure I'm not interested.:\ Then I think about it and I think, mistake!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
Sat, 08-26-2006 - 10:08pm
Yea definitely cancel. I have now dated two guys seriously who live within a block of each other and two blocks from me. It was total coincidence as it happened but now that those days are over, my bf and I run into both of them. He laughs about it but I dont so much:)
Better to date someone who requires at least a five to ten minute car trip IMO!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2005
Sun, 08-27-2006 - 12:32pm

Well, I was going to go on about my seeing a neighbor and that we are also 14 years apart.

But after reading the other responses and your follow up comments, it's clear that you need to put your priorities in order. You start off by asking about dating a neighbor, but the real problem is that you have issues with a large age gap. That being the case, it's best that you call it off. Just be truthful and say that you had second thoughts with the age gap and choose not to see him. Don't worry, he'll live.

If it later turns out that he was a great guy and you see him date or marry someone else, then that'll be just another fish that got away. On the other hand, if you want to rethink your thoughts on significantly older guys, then take a look at the May-December message board. Many of your fellow colleagues have enjoyed what an older guy can mean.

Don't be wishy washy and delay the response to this guy. Tell him no as soon as possible. Otherwise, take a chance an decide later. It's your destiny. Good luck.