Would you marry a man before sleeping...
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Would you marry a man before sleeping...
| Tue, 03-13-2007 - 6:43pm |
Would you marry a man before sleeping with him?
- Yes
- No
- No opinion
You will not be able to change your vote.

Personally I wouldn't. Sex is an extremely important part of marriage and if we don't gel on that level as well, I'd have a hard time with it.
Is this something you're considering?
Hi Iri,
I commend you on waiting. For me, sex was one of the things that led to the dissolution of my marriage. I learned a lot during that timeframe, hence my stance.
Mind you, I'm not advocating that someone should lose their virginity just for that. I guess being on the other side of it, I just think it's a chance I wouldn't take. :o)
My first husband wasn't in any hurry at all to have sex. Turned out it was because he simply didn't like it, or at least he didn't like it with a partner. That's one of the biggest reasons we ended up divorced.
You better believe I thoroughly checked out sexual compatibility before I got married to my current husband.
For me, I find it difficult to sustain emotional intimacy in the absence of physical intimacy.
The one time I agreed to wait, it was because my then-fiance wanted to wait. I didn't. But I conceded and decided to wait. Well, after the wedding, on the honeymoon, he blamed it on me - he told me that (the ONLY) night I got drunk was the night that he'd wanted to have sex. Then we went home. No sex. It went on and on and when I asked him why, he'd turn it on me and put me down and say things like "you don't keep the house clean - how can I be attracted to you when you don't take care of the house?" and so on and so forth.
I was young, stupid, too ashamed to tell anyone what was going on, so what did I do? I tried to keep the house nicer. I tried to do the laundry more often. I tried to cook nice dinners. I tried to go out when I didn't want to. I tried to keep my opinions to myself when with company so as not to "embarass" him. And on and on some more until I stopped asking why. After all, who wants to hear what a sucky wife you are?
Then after 2 years (yes, TWO years) of no sex, I figured out that I needed OUT. It took me another year to figure out how to do it on my own (I had a child too that wasn't his, so I really needed to plan) and to get the divorce.
1 month after our divorce was final he wrote me a letter (that I still have) telling me how sorry he was for the way he treated me, and that he's gay.
So I probably have some baggage due to that, but the bottom line is that I never realized just how important that aspect of a relationship is to me until I had to go without.
Just me $.02.
That's such an important facet of a relationship I wouldn't want to seal the deal without sampling the goods!