would you tolerate this behavior

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
would you tolerate this behavior
3
Tue, 07-13-2004 - 2:33pm
Let's say you meet someone that you're interested in getting to know. You really like the person. BUT,

He/she is wishy washy.

For example, one day this person is really into you, then a couple of days later they're not sure if they want to see you anymore.

Then the person decides he/she made a big mistake and wants to continue seeing you. You like them a lot, so you continue to see him/her. THEN the cycle starts over again. They're not sure, then wants you back, then not sure again, on and on.

This is very hard for the person being dumped over and over again. If you liked the person would you keep going back or walk away?

What if the dumper regretted how they've behaved and treated you and was sincerely remorseful and wanted you back, another chance. Would you take them back

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Tue, 07-13-2004 - 2:42pm
And be dumped again?

No thanks.

Once bitten twice shy. I might consider getting together after the first break up, but after the second? No way. This person wouldn't deserve another chance, they blew it after the first one.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
Tue, 07-13-2004 - 7:01pm
Hmm I'm kind of going through this at the moment. A guy asked me out and I wasn't sure about him - wasn't sure if I could ever feel the true spark for him, so rather than set him up for failure I told him up front I wasn't sure what I wanted but I'd like to go out... .so we started dating and after a short while i really didn't feel I could do it, so I ended it. But I was so upset and miserable, and we talked on the phone a lot and he sounded soo down... I asked him over and asked if he would consider giving me a 2nd chance because i didn't think I'd given it enough of a chance... so we started seeing each other again and it was nice... then I went away for a week. When I returned, HE was dispondent with me!!! Then it was him that didn't know what he wanted.... we talked for hours and then finally ended it a 2nd time. I didn't want it to end because I'd asked sincerely for more time... I didn't get more than 10 days to find oouot before he decided it was over. Both of us are a bit wishy washy in that we didnt' know what we wanted, but my advice is that if you truly believe the person is confused and could have deep feelings for you - give them a chance. If you think they are just wishy washy because they want to be with 'someone' but not necessarily 'you'... let them go.

I'm struggling right now because I want to see this guy, hug him and be with him, but in my heart I know he's not the one for me... so I'll just be wasting everyon'es time if I try to get us back together again.

Hope that helps

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Tue, 07-13-2004 - 8:03pm
I wouldn't tolerate this a second time...first time shame on you, second time shame on ME! You're wasting time with this person.