wow. anyone?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2005
wow. anyone?
5
Mon, 08-01-2005 - 7:08pm

Hey, I have been racking my brains for the past few days, and i have no idea what to do... so I would appreciate it so much if someone..anyone could give me some advice!!! OK, here goes... I've been seeing this one guy for a few months, and although we didn't want to have a serious boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, we were completely inseparable. We talked every single day, and despite our weekly arguments and fits, we would always come running back to each other. One problem that alwasy stopped us from ebing together was the fact that his older sister is one of my best friends, and she could not stand the thought of us being together. Also, he lives an hour out of town, which makes it difficult for me to see him. I've always known that me and him would never work out, with our circumstances and whatnot. He's been in love with me for as long as I can remember, but I've never been too sure about my feelings for him. Best friends was a given, but I've never realized if I'm in love with him or not. He's very protective of me, and would do anything to make me happy. He gets pissed off at me for one reason or another nearly every single week, but i always get him to forgive me. Recently, one of my guy friends took me out, and my guy (along with all his friends) thought that it was a date, and I had betrayed him. To make matters worse, this was days after I explained to him how I didn't want a boyfriend right now. Furious, he didn't talk to me for a week. Apparently, he talked to my ex-boyfriend, who I am still friends with. My ex convinced him to drop me, forget about me, and not even bother, and it would be for the best.I saw my guy yesterday, and he insulted me, cursed, called me a liar, that I've never truly cared for him, I don't care what happens to him. Speechless and shocked, I had no idea what to say or think. When I walk into a room, he rolls his eyes and glares at me. It's ridiculous how only a week ago, he was the only thing keeping me going, and now, he's the reason I cry. I have been struggling lately, my life is falling apart for many reasons. I would naturally turn to him for help and comfort, but he won't even look me in the eye. We've had many fights, but he has announced that he is officially over me, and doesn't want to speak to me for a while. I have no idea what to do, I don't know whether to apologize (which I'm not sure I did anything wrong), try to win him back, or just move on? I am so confused, I really honestly need advice, and it would mean the absolute world to me. This is one thing I never wanted to worry about. Please helpp!!!!! ASAP, im freaking riiiight out!! thanks a billion....

*katherine

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2003
Mon, 08-01-2005 - 7:19pm

Katherine,

get rid of him. i mean it. he's jerking you around and you're playing right into it.

you'll feel better about yourself as you rid yourself of people who are not positive.

Elyse

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Mon, 08-01-2005 - 7:51pm
Maybe your best friend doesn't want you and him together, but she knows how volatile he is. I say RUN! As fast as you can away from that guy. He's already wearing your self esteem down. He's trying to control you by playing on your emotions. You need a guy who's more stable and who will treat you right.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2003
Tue, 08-02-2005 - 1:31am

yes, u dont need to give him any explanations/justifications or say sorry for anything.
if u r sorry for anything, it's "this situation" and u should get out of this hot kitchen.

ofcourse, looks like he will come back to u, once u say goodbye to him and all this mess.

we don't know if you and him are meant to be together, but we do know that this drama is just not needed, and u should gracefully extricate urself from it, and continue leading ur life as normally as you can.

when things are not clear cut and well laid out, what can one expect but confusion. he should know that instead of blaming you.

i know it hurts a lot...am sorry. dont let anything happening pull you down. dont get involved in arguments with him if he tries to point fingers at you or instigate you. quietly say u have other things to do, and you have already said what u had to, and that is it. stay away and focus on getting other aspects of ur life in line. things have a way of smoothening out, given the time. if it doesn't, then it's meant to be that way.

if you are not sure about him being "more" than a best friend then let him know. this way he doesn't have all kinds of expectations.

in the end, if you have to lose a friendship, because you have been honest about your feelings about both of you, it is still the best and the right thing to do, IMHO.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 5:17pm
Absolutely. There is no room in your life for a man - indeed, any person - who doesn't treat you well.

,
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 8:52pm

I have a different take on your situation from some of the other posters.


I think you should have backed off this man a long time ago.

 Start