Is this wrong?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Is this wrong?
6
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 1:32pm

Hi everyone:

A quick question...is it wrong to go out on dates and possibly more (have a physical relationship) with someone who you KNOW you are not interested in in the long term, but just enjoy hanging out and having the physical contact with?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 1:38pm

If you don't TELL them that, then yes, I think that is morally/ethically wrong.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 1:46pm

I agree with Sheri. As long as everyone is on the same page and you both know that this relationship will not be long-term and is only casual, then there is nothing wrong. If either person believes that there something more could come of it because they have been led to believe this by the other, then it is wrong.

Be careful with these kinds of relationships. Someone usually gets hurt unless everyone keeps their expectations on the same level.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 2:02pm
Well..all I really want is a physical type of relationship with the friendship component incorporated somehow in the equation. I do not believe it is using him because he wants it as much as i do, but I am also afraid that he would like to to become a gf/bf type of relationship, which I do not want due to his clingyness/needyness and also a few other reasons.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 2:40pm

Then you need to clearly tell him that...that you're not interested in anything more than a FWB arrangement.

Did you end up breaking up with your bf again due to his busy schedule?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 3:10pm
Well...he was very stressed out this weekend because he had to work both days and he was very tired and it was taking its toll on him and making him extremely irratable. So basically on Sunday he said he thinks him and I should just be friends and I asked him to reconsider as we just got back together again. Then he calmed down and told me he would call me at some point this week. We are not officially broken up, so I am not going to do anything with anyone else until the issue has been resolved...I think my boyfriend just felt stressed that night and that's why he reacted in the way he did, but we will see.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 3:12pm
Well of course he wants it! He's a guy and when they receive an offer of sex with a woman they are attracted to, they are likely gonna take it! ;-) However, if you don't think his expectations are the same as yours, then I would say don't do this. If you think he is going to want it to turn into a bf/gf thing, stop it here. He is bound to get hurt by it if he is expecting more and you are not interested in more and never will be.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo