X-MAS PARTY

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
X-MAS PARTY
3
Tue, 12-07-2004 - 5:13pm
Okay I need some advice on what I should do. I have been dating this guy for about 6 months and it has been kinda rocky. About a year before me he was in a 6yr realtionship where the girl screwed him over and he very scared to care about someone and he is also scared of getting too commited. Despite this we always have such a great time together and and we do really care about eachother. We spend most weekends together he cooks dinner and we go out sometimes. I also do not want someone with me all the time so that works good for me too. But there are a few things that do bother me. The fact that sometimes he compares me to his ex and sometimes to his mom (women do not want to hear this) Also he is from he military home and he is in the Navy so emotional it is very hard for him to be emotional at all so in turn he does not really compliment me now I don't need that all the time but once in awhile it is nice to hear you look nice or something.I am completly okay with taking things slowly otherwise. So you ask where this christmas party comes into play well he invited me last week to his company christmas party. Which I was really excited about because this is the first time I have been invited to something like this with him. So he won a hotel room for us to stay at that night and I got a little to drunk I did not embarress myself at the party but I don't remember what happened when I got back to the room at all and apperantly I started crying and just let everything out that I was feeling. well he was not to happy about this and said he never wanted to drink with me again. The next morning he acted like everything was okay. I know more happened than he is telling me but I felt so bad and I told him I was sorry like 5 times well this happened about 4 days ago? He really did not say anything but I don't know what to do should I just break it off? Do you guys have any opnions on what you think he feels like. Do you think he will ever invite me to something like this again?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
In reply to: imissy79
Fri, 12-10-2004 - 6:20pm
Hello imissy, welcome to the board!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2004
In reply to: imissy79
Sat, 12-11-2004 - 2:05am

Hello! I think you're feeling far worse than the situation probably is. You were close friends before so I dont think this one situation will be the end of all that. I'd say either he was just a little embarrassed at seeing you in that condition (and after 10yrs in the hospitality industry I can tell you that seeing an intoxicated female isnt the greatest) or, as you said he's not particularly emotionally expressive, he's just a little uncomfortable at hearing the depth of your feelings for him and he doesnt really know how to respond.

The fact that everything was normal the other day must mean that he's already processed what you've said and it hasnt affected what he thinks negatively.

I think just swallow your embarrassment and carry on as normal with him. He knows how you feel now so just let him deal with it and enjoy what you have with him. Who knows, with time he may slowly upgrade your relationship from just friends and if thats the case you know its genuine cos he's seen you warts and all and knows how you honestly feel about him - much better than all the games that can go on at the start of a relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
In reply to: imissy79
Wed, 12-29-2004 - 3:22pm

Thanks for the advice. This realtionship actually ended. We ended up going to Vegas togther and he took a flight home by himself. The whole trip he was making it pretty clear that he did not want a realtionship right now and making me feel like crap. So I was like why did you even come here if you wanted to come and be single you should have came with your guy friends. He got mad at me and was pouting I was not going to put up with a man pouting please, so I just said you are misrable here how come you don't just take a flight home. So he did. I told him he was wrong for me I am sad but not sad enough to put up with someone who does not really want to be with me. I am better by myself for now.

Missy