Y did he make the decison all of sudden?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Y did he make the decison all of sudden?
2
Wed, 07-21-2004 - 11:32pm
Hi, everyone

Thanks for reading my story. I met the guy online. He is really nice, polite, sensible, caring. We went out about 6 dates. All of them went really well. On the forth date, he came over my place at 10pm to see me because I had a very bad day. He gave me all the signals that he likes me. We kissed. On the 6th date, I made some mistake by asking if he is gay (coz he has a gay friend, he is so sensible, caring & nice. I was worried). He was upset about that. I appologized & he accepted. At the end, we still had a good date on the 6th date which was last Sunday. Yesterday morning, his friends who I met before & work in the same area contactted me & made plan to have lunch together on Friday. (He won't be able to join coz he works in diff area). He rang me last nite. I was really in shock that he wantted to break off. I am not falling for him yet, coz it is still too early. But I did like him. I don't understand why he made the decision all of sudden. He said that he don't think we are going to work out in long run. It's better to stop now. I feel really sad & confused. It is so hard to meet someone who you can feel something. The worst thing about this short relationship is that make me lose the hope to find someone who I like & like me as well. Pls help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 4:19am
Well I responded to your last post, so I figured I'd respond again. First of all, I'm sorry it didn't work out like you'd hoped with this guy.

But maybe you'll learn from this to take people at face value. Have a bit of trust and faith in people.

I think you must have given this guy the impression that you're either judgmental or insecure, or both. A guy's not going to want to stick around when you're questioning his sexuality - despite him dating/kissing you. I'd say he thinks he's got a lifestyle that you'll judge or not be comfortable in. I think that too.

It sucks when you start to like someone and it doesn't work out. It doesn't mean you're no good - just that they're not the person for you. Be patient and you'll find someone who's more suited to you when you're meant to.

Meanwhile, this happened because there were lessons you needed to learn. It's your job to work out what those are and how they're meant to help you in the future.

Eve

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 7:05pm
Thanks very much for your response. I think you are right. I must give him the impression that I am judgmental & insecure because I WAS & I am not good at hiding my feelings too. My love life experience was very simple. Married a guy that I knew since I was 21 & he was the only boyfriend that I had. Then I divorced after I knew him about 10 years & married about 4 years becasue that I found he is not that type of person i wanted. After that long relationship, I met another guy who cheated & was not serious about me. When I met this guy, I really worried that I will lose him & will feel the hurt feeling again. You can't imagine how much I regreted about what I said to him. You can't imagine that the hurt now is much worse than I worried. Yes, I was judgmental & insecure. But, he even don't give the chance to explain or give a try. He just simply gave up. Isn't he judgmental too? God, I dont' know if I can meet some one else any more. Even I can meet, I am not sure what I should behave? Should I consider what I say & what I do all the time? Should I still be myself? I know it is better to stop now if he doesn't feel the same. But, I still miss him & it hurts TOO. Thanks. Pls say something to me.