Younger man, is he playing games

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2004
Younger man, is he playing games
15
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 1:40pm
I am a 29 year old single mother of two. I recently met a guy whom is 24. I met him in the most awkward place, driving on the street. He asked for my number and called me that same night. Actually, he came over to my house and we had sex. I did not hear from him for about a month and a half. I ended up calling him. Since then, we have been talking on the phone and trying to get to know each other. He keeps telling me that he does not want to be in a committed relationship. I really doubt that he has a girlfriend at this time. We try to make plans to see each other but they always fail. I find myself liking him more and more as days go by. I guess my questions is should I wait around or move on?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2004
Fri, 04-23-2004 - 3:50pm
If you'll read my posts, "Let's Do Lunch," then read "Like I need Stress!" You'll see... All the younger guys seem to do is play games. (That's because they're little boys trying to be men.) Forgive me - I'm a little peaved right now... lol Anyway, since then, I've "conveniently" lost his number and e-mail address. Good riddance! The sad part is, that everyone at church thinks this guy is "so sweet," and "such a gentleman," and they all "wish my daughter could find a guy like him." OH PLEASE!!! If they had any idea...! Let 'em have him! His loss.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 12:07pm
well sandra i have alot to say about this . you meet him on the street and slept with him the 1st night . well he got what he wanted and you got what you wanted. he s 24 and doesnt want a women with 2 kids tying him down. he s a little kid himself. i am 44 newly divorced and would love to have a 29 yr old women even look at me. but i feel i am way to old for a woman that young. then i wouldnt want her to sleep with me the same night . i would want to develop some kind of a relationship 1st.

you keep looking for these young men for plenty of action between the sheets but sooner or later you will find you really need is a man for out of the sheets.

good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2004
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 4:22pm
Thanks for the reply. I am still confused because we still talk on almost a daily basis. He seems to be a really nice guy. The good thing about the way I am handling this is that I always in every situation expect the worst. I have gotten to know this guy a little better every day that we talk. We have not gone out but we do only talk on a daily basis. I do feel as if there is something there. He is a little more mature than some average 24 year olds. My ex is 28 now and still acts like he is 12. The other good thing about this guy is that he also has two kids about the same age as mine and he takes care of them. I get worried about expecting too much too soon. Should I ask him to a dinner and a movie? Or just hint around that I would like for him to take me? What is your advice?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 5:02pm
hi sandra,

glad you liked my reply. i didnt know you still talk to him. well as you can see i say exactly whats on my mind. why dont you just be forthright and ask him to go out

he can only say no. if he does say no then you know where this relationship is headed.

dont get me wrong your a grown woman with 2 kids,you have to stand tall and take charge of any relationship you want to start. i am not telling you to be bossy but to stand up for yourself and if you see someone who catches your eye appraoch them . i would love to have a woman approach me 1st. it shows alot of confidance in that person.

well good luck and i am sorry i didnt mean to preach.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2004
Tue, 04-27-2004 - 10:15am
No you are not preaching just giving me that boost of confidence that I am truly lacking. I really appreciate your honesty and the courage you have given me. I am thinking of asking him to a dinner and a movie (only) for Sunday. I will keep you posted if you do not mind. I really do like him, I still get butterflies in my stomach when the phone rings and the caller id says it is him. I feel like a teenager all over again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 4:26pm
well sandra i just got back from vaction. did you call him and if so how did it work out?

its good to know you feel good when he calls . your now remembering the good old days when you got butterflies? feels great to be young doesnt it. well i wish you all the best . good luck. and dont forget be CONFINDENT
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2004
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 6:14pm
Well, he said yes to the date but unfortunately, his car broke down. We rescheduled for the following Saturday. We did not go anyware just hung out a bit. I feel as if there is something there between us, yet I also feel as if he is holding something back. He even thought (for some odd reason) that I did not want to talk to him anymore. I reasured him that I did. As I said, he seems to be holding something back, as if he is scared.

I hope you had a wonderful vacation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004
Sun, 05-09-2004 - 11:11am
hi sandra,

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY

you said he is holding something in

well maybe he is thinking i am 24 years old i am getting involved with a women who has 2 kids and i have 2 kids. well thats alot alot of kids for him. its just a hunch.

or perhaps he does not want a serious relationship now.

i am older now and i think back and feel people shouldnt get married now until they are 30. they would have had time to save money b4 marriage . be more responsible.

ahhh maybe thats just me i am thinking of.

the way i see you is you are the only one who can control your life. you can try and figure this guy out . see my 2nd line up top. you may always have a communication problem with him.

or find some one who has better communication skills.i mean more open will ing to share thoughts.

just let me know how its going? im here if you want to talk. by tyhe way how old are your kids?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 9:49am

Hello Sandra...

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2004
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 6:25pm
my kids are 6 1/2 and 3 1/2. As of today, it has been about 5 days since I heard from this younger guy. I am surprisingly okay. I kind of in a way knew that it would come to this, I was just really hoping that my "single" status would end, finally! But no such luck. I am not staying at home wishing he would call, it is just the opposite, I keep myself busy and everything is back to business as usuall. I had learned a whole lot about moving on when I left my daughters father 3 years ago. I have always been very independent even before I knew I was. It just bites that I really liked this one and he got away. But as always, things happen for a reason.

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