am i being taken for a ride...again!?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
am i being taken for a ride...again!?
Mon, 03-28-2011 - 4:51pm

i met a boy online. he's actually a man of 40. i am 34. his story: he is unemployed and homeless at the moment, getting ready to move to the other side of the country. he doesn't even have a car; he has to take the train 45 min to see me. we began emailing each other before the holidays last year. he was traveling for a while and came back in feb. we met after he came back, and something about him instantly attracted me to him. and against my better judgement, after a few times of meeting him i had sex with him. now i only see him once a week or even once every other week. now, i really like him. i guess at first i thought it would just be a fling with him leaving at all. and now he's postponed leaving for several months.

we are also friends on facebook. i see posts from a particular other woman frequently. today i saw one that read: pretend we are in europe <3. he promptly deleted that post from his page. one time i texted him at 8:30pm on a sat. and he didn't get back to me til 4pm the next day claiming his phone was dead. this past friday we were supposed to meet up, and he bailed saying he was sick. i know this will sound like i am defending him or trying to tell convince myself of something but really, i don't think he's the player type at all. and i know we are not exclusive or anything. and to his credit, he's asked me a bunch of times if i would ever consider being with him if he were to stay. he said he was looking for a job here, telling me that i am a small part of the reason why he is doing so instead of moving already. he texts me that he misses me, and that he likes how he feels when he is with me. but we are complete opposites, and i would never have even considered dating someone like him before. i've made that clear to him, so i guess i haven't given him any clear signals either. i don't even really know what my question is. maybe i needed to just vent. what would you do in this situation?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2009
Tue, 03-29-2011 - 11:24am

"he is unemployed and homeless at the moment, getting ready to move to the other side of the country. he doesn't even have a car"

IMHO, This statement alone make me want to say the he needs to get his act together, get a job, a home and stable before he even begins trying to date.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Wed, 03-30-2011 - 3:30pm

You are not being taken for a ride by this man.