Anxiety about Sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2006
Anxiety about Sex
12
Tue, 11-14-2006 - 4:27pm
I'm a 33 year old mother of two and recently divorced. I was married for 14 years and have been having a hard time transitioning to being single. I met my ex-husband when I was 17 and we married when I was 19 so I never really dated. The biggest problem that I am having right now is that I am afraid to start dating someone because I know that it will lead to sex and I'm afraid that because I have stretch marks, the guy will be turned off. I'm also afraid that because I can't have an orgasm with vaginal penetration, he may think that I'm sexually disfunctional. The thought of being alone for the rest of my life is gut wrenching but the thought of having to stand naked in front of someone new is absolutely nauseating. It makes my heart race and I feel sick. Has anyone else had this same type of anxiety and if so, how did you handle it?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2006
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 3:47pm

I am not sure that I will be much help....

My husband and I were together for 11yrs. Our divorce is final on Monday (after 8 months of separation). A couple of my gal pals are throwing me a champagne celebration to push me out into the single world. I can't think of anything more overwhelming. I couldn't imagine being with someone new. The anxiety of how insecure I would be about my body just might be too much to handle. And, it has been over 11yrs since I have been with someone new...would I even remember how it was done?! AGH!!!

That said, I did go on a couple of dates that I knew would never amount to anything. I wasn't interested in the guy so there wasn't this constant nagging in my head about how I looked, or what I look like as I walk to the restroom, etc... I know it sounds awful, but it was like practice dating. I needed to go through the motions of a date before I could ever go on a date with a man I was interested in.

I know I am not much help, but those dates were nice because it helped me learn how to be myself without worrying whether or not they liked me. As far as the intimate date, I think every woman feels insecure about the first time she is with someone. There isn't an easy answer to make that any better. Ha!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 2:20am
I think that with the right guy all of this becomes much less of an issue.
 BabyFruit Ticker

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