Back in the Dating Game, Looking For A Serious Relationship, and could really use some advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2012
Back in the Dating Game, Looking For A Serious Relationship, and could really use some advice.
1
Sat, 04-28-2012 - 3:21am

My name is Ashlee. About a year and a half ago my fiance, Craig, was killed in a car accident. We were only a few months away from our wedding. We had been together for about two years and been engaged for a few months. Craig was more than just my fiance, he was like one of my best friends. I was devastated when he died and for awhile I didn't do much of anything. My good friends, Hayley and Cole, were there for me when I needed them. They both helped me through it. About four or five months ago, I started dating ago. I decided to get back into the dating game slowly. I had a few first and second dates but nothing really stuck. There was really no spark. I realized that I want a serious relationship as I am at that point of my life to commit to one person. I am not trying to replace Craig, I am just trying to find someone who understands me, makes me laugh, makes me feel good about myself, and someone I can share my life with.

I started to tell Hayley how known of the dates were working out. She decided to set me up, which is not exactly what I wanted. I was skeptical about a blind date at first anyways. During this time, Cole had to go out of town because his mother was preparing to have surgery and she needed his help around the house. Cole and I talked everyday when he was away. He would call me to just make sure how I was doing. During the time Cole was away, Hayley set me up on a blind date with her boyfriend's friend, Kiefer. Kiefer is a nice guy and he is smart and funny. We had a good time and we clicked. Cole was away for a few months and because Kiefer and I were just dating and not really even exclusive, Cole only knew that I went on a few dates with Kiefer.

Cole came back and well he told me that he cared a lot about me and he wanted to be more than just friends. He told me he wanted to tell me sooner, like when I first started dating again but he felt the time wasn't right as I was just getting back out there and still wasn't fully sure about it. He said he was going to tell me before he left but everything with his mom and the fact that he knew he would be gone for a little while kept him from telling me. He said it wouldn't be fair to me if he had told me before he left as he had no time to explain. He said he wanted to tell me in person and when had decided he would tell me when he got back. Cole said that he hoped I felt the same way and that he knew I was dating around still but he hoped that I might give "him and I" a chance at more than just friendship. I agreed to go on a date with him because Kiefer and I were not exclusive and the fact that I wanted to see if there was a spark there. I had feelings for Cole at one time, years ago.

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Registered: 01-25-2010

There is no reason to rush a decision.

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