Back in the dating pool
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|Tue, 12-01-2009 - 12:24pm|
I am in my mid-30s and am back in the dating pool. I've spent all my time on my education and career and now have started dating again. I woke up one morning and realized that being single and career obsessed is not what I want.
So, I've started dating again.
I've always been good at school and career pursuits because there is a clear path to follow. I've been unsuccessful at dating, because I have no idea what to do!
Everything I've read (I'm searching for the rules to this game!) says that you need to be independent and squared away and not needy. You need to let the man take the lead and pursue you.
Well, I've had about a dozen first dates in the past few months. No second dates.
I finally decided to call one of these first dates to see if I could learn something. He said that I seemed great, but that I also seemed way too independent and happy with my life the way that it is. He said that I gave off the impression that my friends and my career are most important. On a side note, I live in a smallish city with a lack of single men. This one fellow lived in a larger city an hour and a half away, as did some of the others.
I hate that I give off an aloof impression. I would be willing to adjust my life and move if I found the right person. But, how the heck to you communicate that without sounding desperate and needy?