BF dated 5 years Nothing Serious.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2008
BF dated 5 years Nothing Serious.....
4
Tue, 09-02-2008 - 11:15pm

My bf hasn't dated anyone serious in 5 years, as a matter of fact I dated him shortly approx 5 years ago, but he was not ready for a serious relationship, he was still getting over his divorce. I read th e-mail the sent me in 2004 it said, "sorry I cannot give you the relationship you need right now, you are definitely the right person just at the wrong time. Hopefully, we could get together sometime in the future."Well anyway, ran into him and now where here again 2008....Does My bf does not know how to be a bf or is he just lazy and selfish? He told me over the past 5 years he has spent most of his free time with his daughter now 11. They are very close, to the point where I wonder if he has been using his daughter as a shield instead of having his own life. He is 41 I am 31. He does everything with his daughter, this past weekend really frustrated me, because everyone were making plans with their significant other, while my bf was running down a list of all the things he wanted to do with his daughter. I have a daughter too age 13, and when I don't have a bf I use to spend too much time crowding her space, now she actually tells me to go away.


We have been dating 2 months now, and we se each other 1 day a week on a week day about 3 hours including sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2006
Wed, 09-03-2008 - 9:43am

You are playing second fiddle to his daughter and probably always will.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 11:02am

Does he have full custody of his DD?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2008
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 1:48pm
No he doesn't have full custody but he does have shared custody. He is very active in his daughters life, but I have not met her yet. We have been dating 2 months, but we had dated before 5 years ago. I figured he would introduce us when he feels the time is right. Our time is split thin, because time with his daughter and time with me is separate time. My daughter is 13 and old enough to stay home alone, so I don't have the same issues. How much time should we date before we introduce our kids? Maybe I am expecting things too soon, as I seem to be impatient
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 5:09pm

I don't know if there's any magic time line--I think it's good not to introduce the kids until you are more serious.