Confused and disappointed in self
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|Sat, 12-08-2012 - 8:48am|
Kind of a long story (sorry!). First of all I am disappointed that I let myself get into my situation at all. Dating a co-worker was never anything I intended. I am not a slut and have very high morals and I don't want anyone here to think otherwise. I always work in a professional manner and have not led anyone on or flirted. Here goes. Theres a man who is a coworker that works out of a different building then I do (guy 1). He'd always come in to talk to me and it was obvious he liked me. I liked/like some things about him too. I kept thinking he was going to ask me out but never did. During the time I waited for guy 1 to ask me out another guy (I'll call him guy 2) starting hanging out in the office talking to me all the time. We have a LOT in common so we have lots to talk about. He asks me questions about myself and is an all around sweet guy. I've started to have feelings for him. Trouble #1 is, I'm not 100% sure if he is interested in me beyond friendship. Trouble #2 is, I work with him in the same building. Biggest trouble #3 is, he is 13 years younger than I am. So during this time guy #1 finally asked me out. He brought me flowers, took me out for a few drinks, and a nice dinner. All the while being a perfect gentlemen. It was a nice date. Well, guy #1 & guy # 2 dislike each other. My date told one of his friends at work about the date and from there everyone knew. The younger guy #2 was totally mad at me for going out on the date and wouldn't even talk to me until I finally cornered him. He said he couldn't be my friend if I dated the a**hole. I felt horrible that he was mad and that I was losing a great guy as a friend at the very least so I've kind of been avoiding guy #1, which I'm sure has him confused more then I am. The issue I found with guy #1 is that he never once asked me about ME. It's not that he talked non-stop about himself, he just didn't seem interested in me as a person? Not sure how to really explain it and it could of been just first date jitters. Guy #2 probably knows more about me just by asking questions then my bff does! My problem is that I am physically attracted to both guys but yet my heart aches for the one I haven't had a chance to see out of work because he hasn't asked. He texts me all the time but that's as far as it's gotten. Part of me thinks he likes me more than as a friend but has the same concerns that I do. Another part of me thinks it's all ego, he just doesn't want me to date the guy he dislikes and has warned me away from. I know that guy #1 is going to ask me out again. I'm just not sure if I should accept knowing darn well that I have more feelings for the guy that I haven't, or may never get a chance to be with. If I blow off guy #1 I may end up missing out on a good guy. But if I don't, I'll end any chance with guy 2 and will also lose him as a dear friend who genuinely cares about me. I am a grown adult and I know I never should have gotten into this predicament yet here I am. Do I choose a man that may or may not turn into anything more than a few dates over a great friend? Any advise?