Disappointed

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Disappointed
17
Sat, 10-10-2009 - 6:04pm
Well I got tired of sitting around waiting for the guy I went out with a week ago Wed. to call & ask me to lunch as he said he would (more than once, by the way). I emailed him using the good excuse to tell him that I finished his friend's divorce case (I'm a lawyer & he referred this friend to me). So he emailed me back in a friendly chatty way, but didn't mention anything about going to lunch. So I figure he's also going to be one of these guys who might have time for me every few months, if that. Gee, it would have been to easy to find someone I liked and not have to go through OLD. The fact is that I wouldn't mind having a relationship right now where we didn't see each other that much cause I don't have that much free time w/ a 14 yr old at home and an ex who seems to keep changing the visitation, but I could only be ok w/ that once I knew the person actually liked me. Right now I still have no idea if he's even ever going to call back, so it's kind of frustrating & disappointing. I mean he was the one who suggested several times that we should get together again, not me. So why even mention it if you don't mean it? It could have just been a case of 2 old friends getting together for a one-time thing and leave it at that and just say good bye, it was nice to see you.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
In reply to: musiclover12
Sat, 10-17-2009 - 3:56pm

I would wait. Sometimes, things come up in his life that he is not going to make everyone aware of - and not always is our time schedule like someone else. It is very possible he hasn't been able to fit it in just yet.

And if he never does, he wasn't worth the worry anyway. It will work out for the best. You will look more of the confident, independent woman if you wait and be more involved in your own life (clubs, programs, school....other dates ;).

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: musiclover12
Sat, 10-17-2009 - 9:38pm

I could actually think of a number of valid reasons why he hasn't called:

1. he did say that he was going on vacation some time in Oct. w/ his brother--I don't know what week

2. his work schedule is pretty busy, but I actually have no idea what it is since he doesn't work a regular job--he is self employed doing video production and stuff like that so I could imagine that between jobs he could have a lot of free time, then when he gets a video to do, he might be really busy.

3. he told me when we went out to eat that he had cracked a molar and had to have all this dental work done and even that night, he could only eat soft food.

Or it could be none of the above. You know how some people will say "I'll call you" and maybe that night they have every intention that they will do it, but then they never get around to it. I even have an old friend who will do that. When we talk, she will always say "let's get together" but it could turn out to be a year before she actually does something about it. Yet if I called her tomorrow and said do you want to go out in the next couple of weeks, she would go. But people get involved w/ their own lives.

So obviously I am not a big priority to him. It has only been a little over 2 weeks so it's really not that long. It's possible that he might still call but I just don't feel like being the stalker. If he does follow up, then I would at least know he has some interest, where if I am always the one asking him, I would think that maybe he is just being polite. I was just talking about him w/ my friend at dinner tonight. I was saying how he easily could have just said it was nice seeing you again and left it at that, yet he said multiple times that we were going to get together again. So why say something like that if you don't really mean it? It seemed like more than the typical guy "I'll call you" that doesn't mean anything, which is why I got hopeful. But who knows what is in someone else's mind?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
In reply to: musiclover12
Sun, 10-18-2009 - 3:16am
I think as women, we totally over think these things. Honestly, can you picture a secure male ever going through this stuff in his head? (I am excluding the stalkers and presidential shooters) And I only say this, because I do this too and think "why - why on earth do I mull this over and why can't I move on?" When I get the answer, I will let you know.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2008
In reply to: musiclover12
Sun, 10-18-2009 - 3:30pm

Thanks that is exactly what

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
In reply to: musiclover12
Sun, 10-18-2009 - 8:25pm
Dam good looking men!! (shakes fist into the sky)
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2008
In reply to: musiclover12
Mon, 10-19-2009 - 1:03pm

I have seen it too!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: musiclover12
Mon, 10-19-2009 - 3:07pm
When I first started dating 2nd DH, we had met in Parents w/o Partners group, which had monthly dances. After we were dating, one woman actually came up to him at the table, where he was sitting next to me, and sat on his lap! I was laughing and he was saying to me "would you please give me the car keys so I can hide from her?" She also used to tell him how she would go for walks in the hills wearing a sports bra. But I guess her agressive tendencies didn't get her anywhere since he chose me, and I was very hard to get. (And he wasn't very good looking either, so I don't get it. Another woman wanted him too. She thought they would have things in common since they were both widowed and I guess she didn't want a guy who was divorced, so she was always hitting on him and he was trying to escape from her.)

Pages