Disappointment

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2009
Disappointment
33
Fri, 04-17-2009 - 12:02am

As I feared, Mr. Sweet Possibilities is going through another cool-down phase. Who knows, maybe the kiss I found so passionate and romantic just wasn't what he wanted. Maybe he hoped I would pull him into bed even though we were standing on the doorstep and he had said he had to go. Or maybe he got afraid of the relationship now that we advanced to the kiss. Or none of the above. Who knows.

All I know is that I haven't really heard from him this week, which means that we are not going out this weekend. Always before when we didn't go out it was because one or both of us had other commitments (friends weddings, business trips, illness). There was always friendly e-mail and talk of when we would get together.

This week, the e-mail has been scant and he did not phone as I expected yesterday or today to make plans for the weekend. (On Saturday he had said he'd call me to make plans about a movie.)

So that is that. My sense that he was losing interest has been confirmed. He may call me again at some point, but clearly "he is just not that into me."

I'll be fine. I'm just disappointed. He seemed very promising. At my age, there aren't that many men who "could be right."

D

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2009
In reply to: dabela
Thu, 04-23-2009 - 11:40pm

I think it's less a question of "feeling good" than "looking good."

I like myself (most of the time) and I know I am relatively young-looking for my age. I dress up-to-date, I am not stuffy, and people like my sense of humor. But it's been a very long time since a stranger has tried to pick me up.

Guys who contact me through OLD almost always have serious baggage. Mr. Potato Head was no exception; he was just somewhat more handsome and much more intelligent and (initially) more considerate than most others.

Guys whose profiles really appeal to me tend to be very adamant about "slender/petite please," and "if you are more than a size 10 don't bother to contact me."

Right now I can't find any guy on Yahoo or POF who is in my geographical area, in my age bracket, can spell, etc. who I would like to meet and who doesn't have some form of the "I like slender women only" note on their profile.

I need to lose weight for my own health anyway, but the possibility of improving my dating odds is an equally good incentive.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2001
In reply to: dabela
Sun, 04-26-2009 - 1:59pm

Great article! Thanks for that.

Especially this graph:

"At times my faith flagged, like when the well-spoken National Guard pilot bought me a single California roll for dinner and called for the check. Phew. Rejection in a bit of raw fish. The best remedy was always the next date. When the soap opera actor or the triathlete didn't call — both of whom had looked deep into my eyes and proclaimed their attraction to me — I did nothing. I let them go. I wanted a man whose actions matched his words."

This is good stuff we all need to keep in mind. Don't you agree?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2001
In reply to: dabela
Sun, 04-26-2009 - 2:21pm


Great article by Amy Bloom here:

http://www.oprah.com/article/omagazine/200810_omag_love_bloom/1

Here's a quotation I particularly loved from that article:

"When you look at another person's behavior (and please, do look at what he does, not just how he explains what he does. A man with a good and different explanation for each of the five times he's stood you up is a really good...explainer. Did you want to marry a world-class explainer?), the question will arise: Is it character or circumstance? Did he do what he did because of who he is, at his core, or was he pushed to that behavior by circumstance? Guess what? Pretty much, after 18, it's character, every time."

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