Do I still have a shot?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2010
Do I still have a shot?
12
Fri, 01-22-2010 - 9:46am

I just recently got back into the dating game.


Last Wednesday at the apt gym I ran into a girl and had a good vibe with her. Then on Thursday I ran into her again and this time she gave me a sign of interest, walking right by me and smiling and staring. I think her interest was pretty high.


But then later on at the gym on Thursday, I found myself secluded with her

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2008
Fri, 01-22-2010 - 10:39am
she might be off from the gym for any reason.on holiday,sick,etc etc.
IMO, if she showed interest and you had the opportunity but didnt take it,she might be taking it as disinterest from you and so yes,you might be done for.but you can try if you see her again.but be prepared fo rejection this time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2010
Fri, 01-22-2010 - 11:02am

Thanks for the response.


I think what might be best is if I run into her elsewhere in the apt. building. Laundry room, in the elevator, whatever.


The problem with the gym is that it would feel like Im "redoing" the opportunity I already had.......if she has enough interest she would still say yes, but I think running into her elsewhere could recreate a spark....

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 01-22-2010 - 4:16pm
I think you're way overthinking this. The next time you see her, at least introduce yourself. I do think that before you just ask her out, you should at least try to develop a little chatting friendship. I don't know whether I would want to progress directly from smiling & nodding to "do you want to go out?" How do you even know that she's single?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2010
Fri, 01-22-2010 - 4:58pm

I assume she's single cause of strong signs of interest she showed towards me. I didnt make a move cause it was the only 2nd time I had ever seen her and the first time I made eye contact with her. I just thought I'd take it slow. She lives in my apt building so I should see her around.


I should have made a move, but I dont think its a lost cause. I just need to finish strong the next time I see her.


You are probably right about overthinking it.


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
Mon, 01-25-2010 - 6:43pm

Oh, gosh, what can I say? You've lost nothing.


Stop thinking of this as anything other than talking. Try to show interest. Drop the agenda.


The rest will likely take care of itself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2010
Tue, 01-26-2010 - 9:22am

Cl-petulia777, thanks for the response.


I actually do think its over. I havent seen her in the gym in almost 2 weeks, and when she was interested she made sure she was available. What I didnt realize about women is this concept of "window of opportunity". When its there you have to act and move it forward otherwise you risk losing it. In this case I think its over because her interest was actually

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2008
Tue, 01-26-2010 - 11:03am

Girl : hot and heavy interest.
you : ignored,inaction,disinterested

result: zero
you yourself are to blame.good luck if you bump into her again but then she may not be interested now.make an effort to 'bump' where she wont expect you and say 'hello' at least.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2010
Tue, 01-26-2010 - 12:38pm

Fullhalfquarter, you are right.


I'm a shy person in general, but I easily break out of it when I have a sense of urgency. In this case I didnt realize I needed to make the move right then.


I was just thinking dont mess it up, because the previous beautiful girl I had a chance to date I messed it up by saying/doing dumb things on a date. And so with this girl I just thought next time I see her Ill talk to her; dont eff it up right now.


I didnt account for the current girl's high

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2010
Tue, 01-26-2010 - 12:44pm

Fullhalfquarter:


If I do run into her, do you think I should ask her out, or just see how responsive she is to me and then ask her out if she is warm and friendly. Probably a moot point cause Id say this 95% done, but in the off chance.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2008
Tue, 01-26-2010 - 1:32pm

dont ask her out immediately if you havent even said 'hello' before !! begin with small talk for a few days and then gauge her interst and go with the flow.

just my 2cents- shy guy or not,you have to step up if you want a girl.

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