Do you believe in THE game?
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| Sat, 02-14-2009 - 4:24pm |
Well, the title says it all.
When I ask some friends for advise I'm told I'm being childish because of all the thought I put into my moves.
Me, personally, I don't think it's childish. It's just that I believe in THE game. We all like the chase and we want what we believe we cannot have more than what is served to us. Men like to think that they won the prize and it was all their merit and we make them believe that it was. We, as human beings like mistery, mistery keeps the interest going.
Right now I'm attracted to this guy at work and there's this girl that's all over him. Of course he's flattered, and since we all like being flattered he stays around her. But don't you believe that unceirtainty is far more interesting?
The downside of this is I don't trust myself that much when it comes to these things so I have to ask around to see if my moves are ok. :(
What are your thoughts?

the answer to your question is yes and no. I agree mystery is a crutial element in attracting and keeping a man. I've never been the aggressive type and in the past whenever there was a guy
I am not exactly sure what to say here other than that I have read some pretty contradicting statements written by men from what these other women have replied with. I wont get into what it is exactly but here it is...
You can either a) beat yourself up b/c you didnt flirt with the guy or b)flirt with the guy/let him know your interested or give him an idea.
I beat myself up all the time for not talking to guys. What I have learned is that some guys dont know you like them w/o you giving them some clue. They need some encouragement. If he hasnt already asked that chick out that is throwing herself at him, he may not want
I think it depends upon your age.
Hey Mcnatis,
I agree. Although i dislike the term 'game' because you may end up dealing with someones emotions on a deeper level, i do agree with the concept of developing attraction & value, but not just to men, to everyone in my life including myself.
Firstly for myself i try to maintain my level of attraction and value as high as possible. I try to be the best i can be for me and no one else in all areas e.g. looks/career/health/interests/study/social etc. I create this life around me whereby i'm happy to say i'm the most attractive or i have the highest value i can.... just because i can.
I then work on my beliefs to KNOW these things about myself and appreciate them. I validate my own ego and my love who i am and in turn this helps develop my inner game or inner self.
Only then do i project this into the dating world. I admit i do plan my next move, but i as i study more about relationship dynamics and how men work... the more natural my moves are in that they become second nature. Almost like i've reprogrammed myself away from this unattractive, low-value girl i used to be to this now very confident, in-high demand, very attractive woman - and attraction has nothing to do with looks i can assure you ;)
David DeAngelo says, 'Attraction isn’t a choice'.
Attraction is based on his perceived 'value' of you in these three things: Survival (career/wealth/status), Replication (health & looks) and Good Shared Emotions (humour, social interaction etc)
There are different types of Attraction or how to develop it:
1) Intrigue - you are a mystery or a challenge or a contradiction
2) High Demand - he can see others clearly want you or you've been pre-qualified by other guys... and he can see you are sexy but selective.
3) The Ideal GF - its easy/fun being around you and he feels like you understand him
4) High Value - he wants to be associated with you because he can see the potential of having a gf that other ppl admire. He would like to show you off. e.g. you have varied interests, outgoing, confident, sexy, other women defer to you, head screwed on, not needy or flaky, knows her own mind etc
5) The Nurturer/Damsel - for relationship material he needs to see your loving side, as a real person with 'a good heart' that show u can care for him and/or need to be cared for e.g. show skills such a cooking or allow him to assist you with 'manly' tasks. Let him feel like a protector or a teacher.
ok thats just a basic template i tend to absorb. Like i say it now comes second nature. If fact i enjoy the game just as much i think guys enjoy it back. Its supposed to be fun and think sometimes women can ruin a good thing by wanting to 'talk' about how they feel too early on.... ruining the attraction when he hardly knows you!
The main rule i follow is 2 steps forward... 1 step back. and never a step a head of the guy. I let him lead emotionally while i lead physically ;)
I've never had a guy turn me down with this formula yet lol!
Fashionably Wiser... One Pearl at a Time
http://thelifestyleartist.blogspot.com/
Fashionably Wiser... One Pearl at a Time
http://thelifestyleartist.blogspot.com/