does he just want sex or a relationship?
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| Mon, 01-05-2009 - 3:33pm |
Hi everyone this is my first time posting its great to be able to ask for advice!
I have a situation..
I met this guy (hes 37 im 25)- the week before christmas- i gave him my number and he called the next day and asked me out. I said I was busy- and he asked me what my new years plans were. I didnt have any - so we ended up having our first date on new years eve! We had talked on the phone a lot before that- but the conversation during dinner was interesting. He asked me my thoughts on marriage, WHEN i planned to get married, children, career goals. It felt like an interrogation- ive only dated guys my age and marriage and children definitely never enter the conversation. Well, we both got a little tipsy and we ended up having sex (although he called it making love) lots of sexual attraction there he is sexy! Anyway the same day (new years day) he called me to see if i was ok, and tell me he was thinking of me, and wanted to see me again that weekend.
Well, he since then he has called almost every day.But he'll say things like hes worried that i stay out so late (lol! ive never heard that before what does that mean?) And that hes just calling to check up on me. And then he invited me to go on vacation with him next week isnt that short notice? I just dont know what his deal is... I do like him I just dont know why hes so intense about marriage and knowing where I am.. what do you think ladies?

Wow, I get the feeling hes moving way to fast with the going away on trips, talking about marriage ect. I mean if guys dont expect women to bring up marriage and kids on a date. If you feel pressured tell him that you like him, but you want to take things slow. If you think hes only after sex, then don't put yourself in a position where you to might end up having sex, like no going over to his house at night, or heavy kissing and petting. Go on a few dates and not have sex and see how he reacts. If a guy wants to date you, sex shouldn't be what keeps him around at the begging of a relationship.
Also...Maybe its because hes older, but he seems like hes trying to be your dad. I would find that kinda creepy haha not romantic at all.
Edited 1/5/2009 9:44 pm ET by tinirini
He is moving very fast, but of course you ok'd that when you had sex on your first date.
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I'm in
So is that the only actual date that you've had was NYE? If so, I would definitely say no to the vacation w/ him--you hardly know this guy & you would be spending 24/7 w/ him. Bad idea. You can chalk up sex on NYE to the holiday/romance aspect of it, but maybe you don't want to go down that road again just yet. But I think it's strange that it's been a few weeks and he can't get enough time to have dinner w/ you for a few hours, yet he wants to take you on vacation? I don't get that.
He is probably asking you about marriage/children because he is older and if he hasn't been married yet, he's ready to settle down, where normally a 25 yr old is not that anxious and is more willing to just date & see what happens.
What really sends out a red flag for me (and I'm old enough to be your mother) is the checking up and commenting that you stay out late. He could be jealous & wondering if you are w/ other guys, but doesn't want to come right out & say it or it could be a sign that he's very possessive. Well, you're young & single, why can't you go out & stay out late if you want to? And you don't have to tell him where you are every day cause you don't really have a relationship, so it's really not his business. To me that sounds kind of creepy.