Don't need another jerk

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2007
Don't need another jerk
7
Fri, 02-13-2009 - 10:04am
First, I don't know how to start this post.. I feel bothered and a li'l upset. It's been while since I last dated. I honestly not into it right now and I kept my space from few men I know who'd been asking me out lately.. So I met this guy (a common friend's friend) one night when I went out with some friends. He's not my type but I still acted nice to him though. After that night, he got my number thru my friend and texted me incessantly from that day on. He was very persistent and even admitted he likes me a lot. He asked for a date and it should be today (friday feb.13) and I waited for his text for a confirmation but he hadn't texted me the whole day... He's the one whose really into it and I'm just kinda playing it cool. He asked me three nights ago if he's not my type and I told him I just think its too early to tell since we only saw each other once. Then he made arrangement that we're going out today. And he never showed up and it piss me off and upset me at same time. I just wanna start dating after my ex got married last Dec.. that's the reason why I gave this jerk a chance to date me but he blew it. It hurts my pride and I don't know how to start dating again with another guy.. I got this feeling I'm kinda stuck and doesn't wanna move on.. I badly need a nudge here..
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2008
Fri, 02-13-2009 - 1:23pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2007
Sat, 02-14-2009 - 11:36pm
I've been thinking about it lately and I conditioned myself to start moving on. Its a step by step process. And for someone whose emotionally attached, moving on and forgetting the past is simply the hardest thing to do. I've been going out with friends and enjoying their company. I'm just kinda annoyed each time they're worried about my single status and introduce me to some random guy while I find them not quite interesting. I'm still hurting and currently on the healing process..
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2008
Sun, 02-15-2009 - 1:21am
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Sun, 02-15-2009 - 2:42pm

Random introductions without consideration for what you want is annoying. I've been down that road.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2007
Mon, 02-16-2009 - 9:14am
What bothers me is that I'm so sick of the thrill of the chase thing and all those things goin on in dating game world.. I've fallen in and out of love and I found out that real feelings and genuineness of a character shines out when you're inlove.. it sounds silly for other people who opt to play it cool and remain evasive. But I'd be a fool if I engage to dating guys I don't find interesting and even if I find them interesting, I know I can not pull off the genuine emotions out of me that easy...that'd be more silly.. I just want something real, something unplanned and I agree to you not to give chance for any jerk out there.. Modern people, men and women tried hard to unravel the tricks in dating, I find it smart to know all those but I also not so much into it 'cause it demystifies the "good old magic feeling" we all crave in and look for in a romantic encounter..and believe me, I knew lots of real life story mostly from people I know who had this special encounter... I don't want to settle for anything less than what I deserved. I'm an all or nothing girl and I'd rather live alone and happy than be with someone totally jerk and suffer the rest of my life, LOL.. thanks though..
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2008
Wed, 02-18-2009 - 5:17pm

Well, this rather follows up on that other post.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2009
Wed, 02-18-2009 - 7:33pm

First thing first winluvnsparkle... a hug xx

Also you need to heal ;) I know you know that... theres no point in dating if you are not ready or not happy about it. Dating should be fun not stressing you out and hurting you. I do understand about dating and want to move on because as ex has.. i've been there. Its hard, especially if the split was not mutual on your side. It was in my case and all i wanted to do was move on. To cut a long story short i did move on with a best friend who was 'in love' with me and 2 months later i knew it was a mistake and definitely a re-bound.

How long ago did you break up with your ex? How long were you together? And also are u still in contact with him? Please don't feel you have to answer. It would just help me to understand where you are emotionally right now.

Also about this guy. Things to remember with flaky guys:

1) don't take the negative things that happen when dating as reflection of you. I always look to the positive reasons... for example he may have lost ur number/met someone the night before who answered his question differently/chickened out/got stuck at with work/got hit by a bus ;) tons of reasons and each one is no reflection on you as a person... but him.

2) The most important person here is you. So what you want from a guy and how he makes you feel... not the other way around. So it seems like what he had to offer wasn't what you wanted in the first place? And also he's now made you feel hurt. I say get rid. Like dog training. He's been bad. Punishment is goodbye. Don't look back

3) If you feel something akin to rejection... don't. Try to not let your ego do the talking here and take a step back and observe why you needed attention from this guy. Any validation of who you are and your worth should come from you. If he has treated you this way... time to shrug, smile and walk away. Everyone, even this guy, is allowed to make mistakes... and so he made a big one standing you up. poor him. not your problem. walk away ;) No one is worth holding on to pain for... he doesn't even deserve your time!

4) Realise that you attract what you believe to be true or you desire in to your life. Reading your post it seems like you really didn't want to date this man so you got ur wish and the universe saved you from an awful waste of time date with a man you only wanted attention from. Focus on what you do want and what you do desire (attention from a man you are attracted to and help that come into being) and be thankful the guy got the message in the end ;) ur just not interested in him!

Hmmm.. i hope some of this made sense and is useful. Answer the questions if u have time. I have some thoughts on moving on if ur interested
x

The.LifeStyle.Artist

Fashionably Wiser... One Pearl at a Time

http://thelifestyleartist.blogspot.com/
The.LifeStyle.Artist
Fashionably Wiser... One Pearl at a Time
http://thelifestyleartist.blogspot.com/