Facing The Facts of Dating
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Facing The Facts of Dating
| Sat, 10-11-2008 - 12:09pm |
I hated dating stuffs as you have to comply with some rules and that's what I irk about.. But when I tried dating, I realized it wasn't that bad though.. I learned a lot of things in life and in relationships without the need to get into it.. Being coupled up and then singled out is a classic cycle any normal person would undergo thru it. When I first started dating, I was so naive about it but eventually it made me more open-minded to lot of things which made me feel stronger in the process.. Now I can understand the opposite sex much better.. why they act so different from what we expect them to be. And also in the process, I realized that being melodramatic can sometimes ruin relationships because of high expectations just to feed women's drama cravings.. Goin out on a date is just like going out of your comfort zone. You have to leave your expectations behind and go with the flow to enjoy it and learn from it. You may expose your heart and be vulnerable but what you'll gain is an undeniable strenght of character.. until then, I can say you're ready to enter into a relationship again..

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Finding a good date and someone who's willing to date you is a tedious process. You should be interesting enough to be a good catch --means you have to enjoy your life and be interested to do variety of things like indulging to your passions. What's more attractive in a person is when s/he appears interesting --it's when s/he knows how to socialize and be engaging, bubbly (not uptight), knows how to flirt smartly without appearing trashy, passionate, knows how to carry him/herself with confidence. During first dates specially when you're a woman, lower expectations and enjoy the date..Here's the DO'S AND DONT'S:
1. Do wear sexy (though not advised to wear tight clothes and showing off more skin is a
no-n0!)but with a touch of elegance kind of clothes, minimal piece of jewelry would be
nice, minimal and more natural looking make-up.
2. Don't tell much stories about your past and your exes.. Do throw few great info about
and your family but never overdo it. Add a li'l mystery to keep the spark lighted! ;)
3. You should know how to throw smart or witty banter when he banters.
4. Don't interrogate him, just ask few light questions for info and carefully observe how
he reacts.
5. Never ask for second dates but atleast clue him that you're also interested.
6. Loosen up and feel confident and comfy.. You can do this by focusing on enjoying his
company not on your self.
7. Light conversations like sharing your blissful moments will stimulate good moods.
8. At the end of the date, simply thank him.
9. Never be the first one to call him. Do your routine work and don't wait for his call.
10. If he won't call, don't feel bothered or anxious. Cut your loses and move on.
11. Wait few moments before answering his call. If he asks you out again, simply tell him
you've got plans on that night with friends or family and simply tell him you'll be
available the next weekend nights. (remember that men opt for thrill of the chase--means
they naturally crave chasing a woman who knows how to take hold of herself and dignified
enough to be independent.)
12.Don't focus on him, focus on what you want and what you look for in a guy (those
negotiable and non-negotiable characters you prefer)
13. Know the guy in and out.. His looks will surely capture your eye but your heart will
always crave for a good man with a distinct and outstanding character.If he's a
date-worthy, then he deserves a second date..;)
14. Remember that your life is all about YOU--so whatever your flaws, embrace it and
enhance your assets instead.. Telling him how insecure you are and if you keep
reminding him your flaws, it will turn him off.. FLaws are sometimes appear sexy cause
it makes you a unique individual.
15. Never ever have sex on first dates even on first few months of dating.. Men craves sex
but leaving a li'l mystery and anticipation will only make him want you more. It's a
fact. Deep down, men wishes you've never gave in that easy. He wants his woman to be a
prize to win..wait till you're both committed and ready emotionally.
16. DO ACT LIKE A PRIZE CAUSE YOU'RE WORTH IT! A dignified, intelligent, independent and
interesting chick will surely win a man's heart and keep his interest in the long
haul.
14. Be feisty in the sense that you will show him that you're a woman who has grace and strength at same time. Not the chick who will make him her world and suffocate him with melodramatic gestures..Don't be needy and clingy in short! =)
There's more.. I also want to hear from you and hope this tips will guide you and the other readers.. thanks.. Godbless and goodluck to your dating ;)
I'm interested in your comments about numbers 9 - 11.
Actually, I like winluvnsparkle's rules.
Hi,
I just read this whole thread, and it is quite interesting. I am getting back into dating after divorce. I chatted with some men online from a dating site, and there is one man who I have seen a few times. I enjoyed checking myself and these first three dates, against your collective lists. (I checked out well in most cases but need improvement in some areas as well.)
I would like to hear feedback on a few things. One thing I have been really conscious of, is to find someone who I want to be with because of who they are, and not just because of what they do for me (emotionally, physically, etc.) I am coming out of a 14 year marriage where there was very little emotional or physical closeness. So I have been seeing a man; we met on a dating site, emailed for almost a month, got together casually three times over the past two weeks, and spent hours on the phone with him. I feel a strong connection with him, and he has assured me that he understands that I need to take this slow. (Which of course drives me closer to him!) Yesterday we held hands and kissed for the first time, and it was very nice. He held me in his arms, and I felt so good. Thing is, I have been so starved for affection in my former marriage, that I NEED this comfort. The comfort of an emotional connection, the comfort of gentle physicality, and I am getting confused with whether I like HIM romantically (he is definitely "friend" material) or if I like the idea and feeling of ANY connection. I think I need a sort of list that I can check, to see if he suits my conditions. Any ideas on this?
Another two issues are 1)In dating how can a woman protect herself from someone who might have some bad secrets in their past or might turn out to be someone else?
And 2)(PLEASE ANSWER this for me!) Okay, in dating, (don't forget I've been married quite a long time) if I don't have sex with him, and I plan not to unless we really fall in love and trust and commitment, then how will I know if he is a good sexual partner? This might sound shallow but it's very important. What if after a few months of working on the friendship aspect of the relationship, we get in bed and I find out some weird sexual thing- maybe how his body looks or maybe he is an inhibited lover or just not a good lover, or something? How do people deal with that? In particular, what if there are certain sexual things I need and he doesn't like to do? Advice would be so appreciated. I fear that his willingness to "take it slow" means perhaps he's hiding some weakness in the sex department... Also, he told me that in both of the main relationships in his past, the women cheated on him, which makes me wonder if there was something lacking in this man. I don't know, this is getting long, sorry. Advice would be appreciated. TIA
I was a little confused by your first issue--won't any list have to be highly personal to you?
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