First experience with "true love"
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| Thu, 08-13-2009 - 1:06pm |
Hello! I have answered questions before here but it's my first time asking for advice. So far I love how supportive all of you seem to be. And honest :)
I am dating a guy who I experienced lust at first sight with. Never had a guy like me back this much who I was this attracted to. I sometimes can't believe he likes me back because he is very charming and good looking and women approach him all the time. So I'm really flattered he likes me this much. And I am totally infatuated with him. He gives me the butterflies every time I see him.
The problem (of course there is one huh) is that he is very independent and doesn't always stay in touch with me. Some days he will text me a lot and others I won't even hear from him. If he has plans over the weekend, I won't hear from him for days. Also, he constantly tells me that he will call me and he doesn't. He'll promise to do something with me the next day and then I won't hear from him for days. It just seems disrespectful to me but I don't think he realizes he's doing it.
I can respect independence but I have to admit that I want a boyfriend who wants to be with me every weekend and who is very attentive. He may turn into the second boyfriend I have ever had (I'm 29). I'm afraid that if I don't tell him I'm not happy with his actions, I will be stuck with a boyfriend who is not very attentive. But I'm also afraid if I say something, I'll scare him away. We aren't exclusive YET but I'm sure we will be soon.
What should I do? Say something to him or just deal with it and accept that that is how he is? I appreciate the advice. Thanks!

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You've got this backwards IMO.
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Okay. That makes sense. Yeah, I've had girl friends that I have learned not to make plans with if I wanted a guaranteed meetup. It is hard to do that with a boyfriend though. I think I may learn to accept it for now and also take advantage of my free time during the weekends. If it gets to be too unbearable, I'm going to have to rethink being with him.
Thank you for the advice everyone!
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So he is unattentive. I think everyone agrees on that :-) I do not mean this is a rude way but.... Why do you think you likes you so much? What does he do/say that leads you to that conclusion? Obviously its not for his attentiveness! I mean him saying "I like you a lot", doesn't always go a long way. So I just wonder what has gone on to lead you to say "I know he likes me a lot" "I've never had someone like me so much" (paraphrasing!)
Maybe if you sit down and think about that it might lead you to a resolution for this problem!
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