the guys i meet only want one thing

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2007
the guys i meet only want one thing
18
Thu, 12-17-2009 - 10:18am

So i have been single for a while, like over two years.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 12-17-2009 - 10:46am
I think this is something that has been happening for quite a long time, but it definitely seems to me that sex today is more casual. I think I read a survey in the paper recently that college students didn't think having sex was that big a deal. I'm over 50 and back in my younger days, there definitely was more of a distinction between "nice" girls and the slutty ones. It was pretty much expected that guys would try to get you to have sex, but they weren't really expecting it from a "nice" girl and they would still hang around even if you said no. Like I had a BF senior year from maybe May all through the summer when we went to college and we never had sex and it really wasn't that unusual, although I'm sure there were kids our age who were doing it. Now it does seem that there's the so-called "three date rule" where it's pretty much expected to have sex on the 3rd date. But if you don't feel comfortable w/ that, don't do it. Don't sleep w/ a guy just in the hope that he'll stick around cause that definitely doesn't work. If you have a certain time period, like dating for 2 months or a certain no. of dates or whatever, if a guy likes you, he definitely will stick around even if he has to wait a little longer (and esp. if you do tell him that you want sex eventually but just not right away).
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2004
Thu, 12-17-2009 - 2:34pm

The last sentence from music's post is the

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2009
Thu, 12-17-2009 - 2:39pm
hey izzy can i ask were you are from and what kinda of guys are you dating>
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2007
Sat, 12-19-2009 - 7:21am
I'm From Long Island, New York.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2008
Sun, 12-20-2009 - 3:22pm

I think there are two things going on here for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2006
Sun, 12-20-2009 - 5:40pm

I was just about to post a similar topic, then I read your story.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2001
Sun, 12-20-2009 - 8:35pm

Regarding this one:


I recently had a guy, that I am newly seeing, tell me that he thought it was weird that we haven't slept to gether yet..this was after 2 1/2 "dates"...it is almost expected from some people to have sex too quickly.


My last guy--Bob (in the It's My Birthday and I'll Cry, etc. post) and I had several conversations early-on about sex and the when of it and how it wasn't that important to him. That wasn't what he was looking for, at least not the only thing.


Well, that may be and I'm not saying that he was all about sex. Whatever his game, he

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2001
Sun, 12-20-2009 - 8:44pm

I may be in my 50's but I do clearly remember my younger days. Just wanted to tell you that I wasn't any different then than I am now. Despite the freedom we had...I still didn't want the quickie sex thing.


It's soooooooooooooooo much better when you know and respect the person, corny corny corny but true.


S-l-o-w is so much better in many, many aspects of life that have nothing to do with sex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2009
Mon, 12-21-2009 - 10:27am

I agree with everyone's advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2009
Mon, 12-21-2009 - 11:37am

well, this is a common story: the man pushing to have sex while the woman is trying to decide when she would

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