Is he interested?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2012
Is he interested?
2
Mon, 01-28-2013 - 8:22pm

I am in my early 20s, and I ended a two year relationship over three months ago and haven't been involved in the dating scene at all since then. My friend and I went out for dinner and drinks on Friday. There was a group of men sitting behind us, and they began a conversation with us. I really hit it off with one of the guys. Objectively speaking, he has every charactersitic I would want in a man. We spent the night talking. He was super sweet and charismatic. Despite his friends trying to get him to sleep with me, he made no attempt to take me home that night. Instead, he asked for my number and asked if he could take me out later that weekend and gave me a goodbye kiss. We made plans to grab lunch on Sunday, but around 3 he texted me saying his friend's car was broken down in his driveway and they had been trying to fix it for hours. He apologized and asked if we could reschedule. Since then he has sent me a few texts asking about my weekend, my day, etc. My hesitation is that he is 9 years older than me. While to me, the age difference is irrelevant, due to my life experience and position in life. However, I am concerned he isn't actually interested in pursuing me, and is perhaps just keeping me on the backburner in case he wants to try and hook up with me later? I guess I just don't know how to date anymore, and I don't know how to read signals guys are sending. What does everyone else think?

Avatar for Kendahke1
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2012
Tue, 01-29-2013 - 7:47am

palecashmere wrote:
<p>I am in my early 20s, and I ended a two year relationship over three months ago and haven't been involved in the dating scene at all since then. My friend and I went out for dinner and drinks on Friday. There was a group of men sitting behind us, and they began a conversation with us. I really hit it off with one of the guys. Objectively speaking, he has every charactersitic I would want in a man. We spent the night talking. He was super sweet and charismatic. Despite his friends trying to get him to sleep with me, he made no attempt to take me home that night. Instead, he asked for my number and asked if he could take me out later that weekend and gave me a goodbye kiss. We made plans to grab lunch on Sunday, but around 3 he texted me saying his friend's car was broken down in his driveway and they had been trying to fix it for hours. He apologized and asked if we could reschedule. Since then he has sent me a few texts asking about my weekend, my day, etc. My hesitation is that he is 9 years older than me. While to me, the age difference is irrelevant, due to my life experience and position in life. However, I am concerned he isn't actually interested in pursuing me, and is perhaps just keeping me on the backburner in case he wants to try and hook up with me later? I guess I just don't know how to date anymore, and I don't know how to read signals guys are sending. What does everyone else think?</p>

I think that if you're just not interested in going out with the guy that you try being honest with yourself, first.

it would appear that he is interested, since he did call and ask to reschedule and he has kept in touch--both things he didn't have to do were he not interested.

Instead of projecting your fears and insecurities onto him, try to learn the art of establishing a friendship.

Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Tue, 01-29-2013 - 10:28am

Based on what you wrote, I think he appears to be interested. If you are still interested then ask him out again, make some firm plans again and see if he follows through.

I am confused by one statement you made. You say your hesitation is that he is 9 years older than you, yet you go on to say that age is irrelevant. Thats like saying you like swimming but hate getting wet. There is a component to the age gap that is relevant. Your are in your early 20s with plenty of time to date people and have fun before you need to get serious about settling down. He may be in a different place, being in his early 30's, but not necessarily. You should find out if you two are compatible in this area.