Help me get rid of this guy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Help me get rid of this guy
12
Sat, 06-06-2009 - 9:59am

Long story...been seeing guy since November, broke up in March, back "together" end of April. Seeing (?) each other again, though only four times since we got back together.

As I write this, please chime in with all the problems you see, all the things I am doing wrong, why, why, why I have to get rid of this man. I am having a hard time breaking away, but I have met another person whom, while I don't know if anything will happen (we only went on one date) SHOWED me what a REAL relationship has the potential to be like. In other words, I think he was...normal.

Old guy...very emotionally stunted. Fun to be with. Biting sense of humor (my type). Great in bed. When we got back together he went on and on about how delighted he was, how much he had missed me, how everyone noticed how miserable he was, how he loved me. A few days later he went away on an already planned trip, but called and texted me, and picked me up at my house to go out when he got back.

Then...silence. Didn't hear from him for a few days. When I texted him to make plans to get together, he said he'd be busy all week with GOLF, and maybe we could get together for lunch on Saturday. I sent him a long e-mail saying this was unacceptable, you don't do this to a woman. He e-mailed back that he was in his "cave" and he'd get in touch when he came out. That took a week. Last Friday, my ex husband was staying at my house to see my kids. This guy took me out for dinner, we went to his house, fooled around,then at 10:30, while we were watching TV turns to me and says "Text me when you get home, OK?" In other words...please go home.

We see each other only when he wants. He doesn't answer my texts on weekends. I havent' met his friends. He doesn't include me in on any plans. This weekend he went to Boston, he didn't tell me he was going until Thursday. Who is he going with? Who is he staying with? He says he's "hanging out with friends". Asks me to text over the weekend.

He wants me to go to a concert with him on Tuesday. He sent me a message saying we can meet at 6, but maybe I should come over earlier so we can have sex before we go. Seriously. I have two kids, I work (he doesn't...day trader). He won't tell me where he is this weekend, but I should be more than happy to ignore my kids to service him.

Please, please, please tell me that I need to get rid of him ASAP. While he has some good points, as far as "in the moment" fun, I just feel like a whore at this point. All the talk of missing me, wanting me in his life, loving me...This is all garbage. But then, can you believe it, a part of me feels guilty for backing out of going to the concert!

I'm an idiot!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
Wed, 06-10-2009 - 9:38pm

I'm glad you kept us posted here. Stay strong and come back here if you think you're crackin' and have some weak urges to listen to *him.*

Talk talktalk, he's all talk.

I won't say more.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Wed, 06-10-2009 - 10:24pm

Not cracking! Slept better last night than I have in months! It's hard to be "alone", but I WAS really alone if I think about it!

Now I just need OLD to work its charms...I say that rolling my eyes!

Thanks for your help.

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