Help...How do I find a GOOD man?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2008
Help...How do I find a GOOD man?
44
Fri, 05-16-2008 - 7:43pm

Hi Everyone,


I'm new at this site and am hoping for some advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
Sun, 05-25-2008 - 10:21pm
Read the book called the (SECRET) Law of attraction, I bet it can help you.
http://roseannstreasures.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2008
Mon, 05-26-2008 - 1:43pm

It is tough out there, and the number of sleaze-balls out there makes me cringe. Internet dating my be "easy" but most of the people you meet are not worth your time. I am 47 with three kids that live with me on the weekends. I had a g/f shortly after my divorce for two years, and recently we broke-up. I tried several of the "dating" sites, and found most of them either a rip-off or the women that are available are looking for their "new" Mr. Right, and what they wanted was their "old" Mr. Right in a slightly new package.

Don't waste your time at clubs or bars, most of the guys you meet there are looking for one-night stands and the "easy score" after a couple three drinks. Find a couple of social groups that cater to the newly-separated to get back into the game, but first make sure you know who you are, and keep your confidence up. Join a gym, clean-up your wardrobe. After 18 years of marriage I am sure it more reflects a married woman than a single one.

As for sex, out here in California a jackass DJ named Tom Lykas, or "Lick-ass" as I call him teach men how to score. He encourages men to dump a woman if no sex by the third date. There is no chance to develop a relationship if you are jumping into bed so quickly. Good decent men are still out there. The more you are in a rush to replace your ex, the worse choice you will make.

Magic

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2007
Mon, 05-26-2008 - 5:09pm
You are never alone you have yourself. Relax you were with someone for a long time. What's the hurry? Work on yourself. I mean sure you want to share your life with someone but you need to be complete first before any marriage can work. Have you taken the time to ask yourself and research why you ended up in an abusive relationship, and why it took so long to recongize that you deserve better. Because you do and I am glad you realize that. I know what you mean about the guys because I am still waiting for the right one for me.

 

Mireya-Zestfulone

Ge

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2006
Mon, 05-26-2008 - 6:41pm
It is very hard to find a good man after divorce. I have one now, but it took time and work. If you are religious, church is a good place to find people. The gym less so.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2008
Mon, 05-26-2008 - 8:01pm

Great advice Magic and everyone else.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2007
Mon, 05-26-2008 - 8:37pm
Your advice is great. One should never go looking for a good man. The only ones that will be found are losers or ones who are good actors and make you believe they are good men. Concentrate on your individuality and your independence and that good man will come along when the good lord wants him to. Enjoy your freedom and explore the world and see new things that the past 18 years has kept you from seeing. Good luck in your new chapter in your life. ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2008
Mon, 05-26-2008 - 10:48pm


All I can say is do not look, seems when I am not looking I seem to find someone. Why they have not work out (there job moved them away) I was very happy with them, they seem to drop into my lap for say. The guys that I have asked out seem to only want sex also. So it works both ways.

I know I am going to take a hit on this, but I will say it anyways. I was very much in love with my ex wife, even if I am gay. I had a very very hard time with everything. After some time I just started to go out with guys I had known wanted only sex. Some I did, most I did not. But it got me out there and talking. If not for them I would never have met the 2 guys that where the ones (I still talk to both of them, and they both know it). Other then that, not sure what else to say.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2008
Tue, 05-27-2008 - 10:10am

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2008
Tue, 05-27-2008 - 10:15am

I agree with you on the wannabe's! But I don't think waiting is the answer. You need to be out there doing what you love and you will find someone who loves that too!


Sitting at home waiitng and praying that a man will knock on your door is a crazy as not working and hoping someone will knock at your door with a million dollars!


Like anything in life you have to work at it and than you will be rewarded.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
Tue, 05-27-2008 - 10:21am
um, I have a question: why do you feel the need to have a man at all? you had a long relationship and from the time frame you've given it doesn't sound like you've ever been single as an adult. I don't understand why people feel they NEED to be in a romantic relationship. Why don't you just enjoy time with yourself, friends, family members, etc? If you come across a guy you like, awesome, and if you don't, you don't and it's not the end of the world (it's not like you die if you're not in a relationship, and honestly, it really doesn't feel any different). It's just a waste of time to focus on looking for a relationship. Society has just told us that everyone has to be in romantic relationship but no one has every explained WHY. Don't waste your time, go do what you do.